


Golden Tree

by WakeOfDelight



Category: Tokyo Ghoul
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Angst??, Eventual Romance, Eventual Smut, Fluff, M/M, Minor Violence, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Rating May Change, Self-cest, Time Travel, blushing nerds, ehh idk this fandom needs more kanekicest tbh, probably
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-07-22
Updated: 2015-10-03
Packaged: 2018-04-10 14:21:33
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 7
Words: 25,177
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4395185
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/WakeOfDelight/pseuds/WakeOfDelight
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>"I guess I should call you Ken, then? And I’m Kaneki?” despite the unreal situation, Ken didn't miss the way the boy's lips curled up into a wry smile, almost laughing quietly to himself.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Recollection

**Author's Note:**

> *pretends to not be anxious as hell* Hey, so this is my very first fanfic. Literally. (Okay, I wrote something like three years ago? but rly, that doesn't count). Since a while ago I'd wanted to write Kanekicest and an idea struck my mind the other day, so here it is. 
> 
> I should mention that the time travel part of this fic was inspired by Skaii's [A Stitch in Time Saves What's Mine](http://archiveofourown.org/works/2366978/chapters/5226764) (loved your work!). But that's really the only similarity. 
> 
> Also, I have to clarify, english isn't my first language and this is completely unbetaed, so go easy on me please (ノД`)
> 
> (Ken=Pre-Aogiri/Kaneki=Post-Aogiri)

“I’m back,” came a low voice from the front door, followed by the soft click of the door closing.

Kaneki Ken, who was sprawled on the couch with a book in his hands, turned his head to smile at the white haired boy who was currently taking off his shoes before stepping into the apartment.

“Welcome back, Kaneki-san,” he said, still smiling softly.

Kaneki was now walking towards the sofa opposite to where Ken was lying.

“How many times do I have to tell you there’s no need to add an honorific to my name?” he sighed but returned his smile.

Ken’s smile only got bigger and got into a sitting position. “Sorry sorry, I guess it already became a habit,” he scratched his head, looking down sheepishly.

After a pause in which Kaneki didn’t say anything else, Ken looked up then only to find him leaning against the cushion, his eyes closed with a calm expression on his face. That didn’t surprise Ken in the least, he had gone for a walk, perhaps he was exhausted. He put aside his book and leaned forward, resting his elbows on his knees, looking at him with a small smile playing on his lips.

It had been already two months since Ken had found the white haired boy unconscious in an alleyway just a few blocks from his apartment complex. He remembered that day very well. He had spent part of the day with Hide at the bookstore and as he was returning home, he had heard sounds coming from the alleyway ahead. He almost had ignored them but after listening to them again, Ken could tell someone was in pain. He had hesitated for a moment but the thought of someone who probably needed help crossed his mind, and so he had taken a peek and it was then when he saw the slim silhouette falling to the ground, accompanied with a sharp noise.

* * *

 

_His eyes widened and he didn’t think twice, he rushed to where the person was lying, immediately kneeling down._

_“H-hey, are you okay?!” his voice trembling a little._

_Now that he was closer he could tell it was man, most likely a boy, considering his slender build, but what surprised Ken the most was his hair. It was pure white. Even in the dim light of the alley, he could be sure as it contrasted so beautifully in the dark it almost seemed to shine._

_He touched his shoulder and shaked him, trying to elicit a response from the boy._

_When he didn’t, Ken stood up and grabbed him by the arms putting him into a sitting position, his back resting against the wall and his head down.  Being this close to him, Ken caught the scent of blood and something sweet on the boy, instantly alerting him, but just then he noticed his clothes._

_He was wearing some kind of skin suit that covered his whole body and shorts. All black. They were torn in various places and Ken saw dried blood staining them. Apart from that, he couldn’t see any wounds or fresh blood._

_Ken bit his lip, not knowing what to do. The boy didn’t seem to have any injuries and he was breathing normally. He kneeled down again ignoring the dirty ground. From this angle he could see the boy’s mouth and fair skin, a little bit of dried blood on his lower lip almost reaching his chin. Up this close he could tell he was probably his age. Also... there was something about him that seemed strangely familiar. Ken suddenly felt uneasy._

* * *

 

Back then, Ken didn’t have time to do anything else because his ears had picked up the sound of muffled steps coming from inside the alley, meaning that someone was coming and he had fled from there taking the unconscious boy with him, thinking he couldn’t just abandon him there to his luck.

Oh, and Ken remembered _so well_ the huge shock and deny he had gone through when he had arrived to his apartment without anymore mishaps and had taken a look at the boy’s face for the first time. It had been a long time since he had panicked that bad.  

And he couldn’t help but recall for the millionth time the first and last time he saw Kaneki’s naked body. He had decided to wait until the boy woke up to find answers and in the meantime wash away the blood from his skin and hair. He needed to make sure Kaneki wasn’t really injured, that was what he had said to himself. Though, to this day he still felt like a creep from staring so much at him when he had taken off his filthy clothes.

* * *

 

_Shaking off his shyness and almost embarrassment the best he could, he discarded the boy’s clothes, struggling for a moment with the zipper of the suit and put them aside, all the while trying to keep his eyes on the boy’s face._

_And failing miserably._

_Ken couldn’t tear his eyes away from the sight of the white haired boy in front of him. He let his eyes travel down his neck to his collarbones, his gaze now fixed on his torso. While the boy was lean, a layer of muscle covered his chest and stomach, his arms and legs looking strong too. Ken briefly noticed that both his finger and toenails were black and his skin was so pale, only a few shades darker than his hair. Ken started to feel a blush creep up his cheeks from all the shameless staring when his eyes landed on a white scar on the boy’s stomach, next and a little bit above his navel, momentarily wondering what could have caused it._

* * *

 

Even now, Ken felt blood rush to his cheeks at the memory. It was wrong, to feel so flustered over the other boy, over _his other self_. He shaked away his thoughts.

When Kaneki had woken up the following morning he was just as confused and shocked as Ken was, to Ken’s disappointment; he had hoped he could get answers. Ken then had proceeded to explain Kaneki what happened after he had collapsed, mentioning that he had to throw away his clothes because they were completely ruined. Kaneki had been silent for a moment with an unreadable expression, probably trying to process everything Ken had told him, before his head snapped up in his direction and with a quavering voice he had asked for the date.

Ken had answered, albeit he was feeling more and more confused. There was a pause. What happened afterwards had seemed to pass in the blink of an eye. Suddenly, Kaneki was standing up, moving towards the door almost frantically, before telling, no, _shouting_ at Ken over his shoulder he would be back. And just like that he was gone. Ken’s eyes glued to the spot Kaneki had been only a few seconds ago, a feeling of uneasiness beginning to settle in the pit of his stomach.

That evening, just as Ken had been almost sure Kaneki wouldn’t come back, he heard the front door slamming and saw Kaneki sitting down on the couch, a blank expression on his face staring into space.

* * *

 

_Ken approached him with apprehension._

_“H-how did you open the door?” he asked nervously._

_No response._

_He repeated the question, louder this time._

_He thought the other boy wouldn’t answer and was about to shake him, when he spoke, “I used the emergency key,”the boy answered with a flat tone._

_“W-what? H-how did you eve-" his question was interrupted when all of sudden the boy rose from the couch, making Ken take two steps away from him, but then he put his hands on Ken’s shoulders, looking directly into his eyes. The same shade of gray as his._

_“Listen to me carefully,” the boy said, his voice just above a whisper. “This will probably sound crazy, okay scratch that, this will_ definitely _freak you out, and you won’t probably believe me but…” A pause. The boy inhaled deeply. “You and I are the same person. I’m also Kaneki Ken.”_

_Ken’s eyes widened but he didn’t say anything, too stunned and shocked –for the hundredth time in less than a day- at the boy’s words to actually mutter something. The boy continued after a moment._

_“You have, no, you_ need _to believe me. I’m just as confused as you, I don’t know how did this happen, my memories are still hazy. I don’t know why the hell I was in that alley, when I opened my eyes, I was already there. For some reason my body was feeling heavy and it  took an incredible amount of effort to even manage to stand up and try to recognize where I was. Luckily, I did and started walking in this direction, but I could only take a few steps before my body didn’t respond anymore and that’s when you were passing by,” he explained._

_But he wasn’t finished._

_“And when you told me the date, it clicked in my head, I had to confirm it though. But I was already completely sure. We are the same person. But the weirdest thing is that somehow, I went back to the past. You’re currently 18 years old, right?” he didn’t wait for Ken’s reply. “I’m 19 years old,  almost 20 in the timeline I came from.”_

_Ken stood there overwhelmed at everything this boy, himself, just said. He didn’t know what to say in response. It was too much._

_Seconds passed and silence stretched out between them, when finally Ken found his voice._

_“I-I don’t know what to say, but… somehow I believe you, I mean, aside from the obvious reason,” he gestured to himself then to the other boy, “but I do believe you,” he said at last._

_A look of relief washed over the boy’s face, Ken thought that perhaps he was sure he wouldn’t believe him. And he didn’t understand it himself, but he trusted him. Perhaps it was the honest tone of his voice asking him to believe him, or perhaps the subtle, pleading look in his eyes, he didn’t have time to dwell on this, because suddenly the boy sank down on the couch, looking down and grabbing his hair tightly, knuckles turning white._

_“Why did this happen? Why did I come back?  It's like someone out there is laughing at me... I need to find out how and why this happened, who is responsible for this,” the boy said to no one in particular. Sensing his frustration, Ken could only raise his hand and reach for his shoulder, giving it a light squeeze, as if trying to comfort him. He felt him tense and after a moment, his other self looked up at him with tired eyes and sighed, “in the meantime, I guess I should call you Ken, then? And I’m Kaneki?” despite the unreal situation, Ken didn't miss the way the boy's lips curled up into a wry smile, almost laughing quietly to himself._

* * *

 

It had taken some time until Ken grew accustomed to seeing his face somewhere else other than the mirror. But even if they had the same face –of course, they were the same person after all–, Kaneki’s eyes always looked somewhat gloomy, he constantly had dark circles that stood out on his pale skin. And he rarely smiled, the kind of smile that reached your eyes. And not for the first time, Ken wondered what had happened to him, _to himself_ , to change so drastically in the course of two years. Not only emotionally and mentally but also physically. Ken still didn’t know the reason behind Kaneki’s white hair or black nails, he never dared to ask and Kaneki never told him. Also Ken wasn’t sure if Kaneki was actually aware of his finger cracking habit. He seemed to do it unconsciously from time to time, especially when he was lost in thought.

But what concerned Ken the most were the nightmares.

Kaneki often suffered from them. They slept in separate rooms, and sometimes Ken found himself waking up to screams coming from the room next to his. He would rush to where the other was and try to wake him up, calming him and reassuring him it was only a bad dream.

The next day Kaneki would show up at the kitchen, with dark circles under his weary eyes. Ken would only look at him worriedly, but Kaneki would never tell him what his nightmares were about. And Ken didn’t want to push him. He probably had his own reasons.

And even if Ken trusted Kaneki for the most part, there were certain things about him that made Ken feel uneasy, such as the fact that they never ate together, Kaneki would always find an excuse to skip his meals or would tell Ken he would eat in his room. Ken didn’t have a problem with the latter, but he always looked at him questioningly. Also, there was the eyepatch. Kaneki wore that thing covering his left eye most of the time, even at home. When he had asked Kaneki about it, his only response was a shrug and he would change the topic. Ken wondered if in the near future he would develop a fascination for eyepatches or something.

But none of those things or the time when Ken had caught him sneaking out of the apartment at late hours at night –getting back several hours later–, bothered him the most as much as the lack of answers he would get from the white haired boy about the almost two years that separated them. Kaneki only told him the minimum. He would often avoid the questions.

Ken leaned against the couch closing his eyes.

After a while, he opened them and stood up. Kaneki was now sleeping on the sofa, his chest rising and falling steadily. That position didn’t look too comfortable, but Ken didn’t want to wake him up. He was glad Kaneki was getting some needed sleep. He left the room and came back seconds later holding a blanket, which used to cover Kaneki’s sleeping form, his fingers reaching for his hair, brushing it aside marveling at how soft it was, like feathers. “I hope someday you will trust me enough to tell me what happened to you,” he whispered gently. Kaneki only stirred a little. Ken removed his hand and straightened up.

 _I guess it’s time to make dinner,_ he thought, and headed towards the kitchen.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> For some reason AO3 deleted this while I was posting another chapter *sighs*
> 
> Basically I said that hopefully this wasn't too OOC, that this fandom needs more Kanekicest/Kanekane and that Kaneki means "Golden Tree" : )
> 
> Thanks for reading. All comments and kudos are truly appreciated <3


	2. Realization

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hiiii, first of all thank you so much for all the feedback ^^ tbh I was feeling really anxious when I posted the first chapter, but I definitely feel more confident now. That's a good thing, right?
> 
> Sorry for all the inner thoughts in this chapter? But since I wrote Kaneki's POV this time, it was necessary. And again, this is unbetaed.
> 
> Thank you for reading <3

Kaneki Ken was still bewildered.

Was time travel even possible?

Almost three months had passed in the blink of an eye and he still didn’t have a single clue, somewhere where to start looking for answers. _Nothing_. Nothing at all had happened since the night Ken found him. It was utterly frustrating, but not as frustrating as his blurry memories.

Kaneki didn’t know why it was so hard to remember, it was like some barrier was blocking his memories.

The last he remembered was Anteiku raid and his fight with Amon.

Kaneki had severed one of his arms off but not without a price. A huge chunk of his abdomen was gone, somehow Amon had managed to attack him in return. The wound wasn’t healing and he had had to get away from there until his body healed itself.

That was the last thing he remembered until that night, while lying on his bed trying to sleep.

Kaneki wasn’t even trying to remember, really, it was a moment in which his mind felt surprisingly clear, as if a curtain had suddenly lifted off it. The feeling of relief couldn’t last though, because now he easily remembered what happened before he found himself in that alleyway. Horror and shock washed over him as all of it came back in a rush.

The sewers, the feeling of losing himself, Hide’s understanding smile, the haunting sight of hundredths of corpses –ghoul corpses – before him.

The CCG investigator _._

He didn’t know his name nor who he was. But he remembered the pain. The immense pain that man, with the same white hair as his, had induced him. He had never experienced that kind of physical pain in his life, not even back at Yamori’s torture room and the endless suffering and trauma the ghoul had made him go through.

The moment he had felt the man’s pointed quinque stab him in the eye, piercing his brain making him scream in agony at the unreal amount of pain he was receiving, he knew, he knew it was over. And yet he still fought. Hide’s voice in his head telling him to fight with all his remaining strength. Even though he was no longer himself, even though his mind was unstable, even though nonsense words were spilling from his mouth, even though his body was screaming at him to stop. But it was all in vain. An incredible force had hit his body then, a blow that left him bleeding and motionless on the ground, the man taking the opportunity to stab his other eye, leaving him in complete darkness.

Kaneki had been so sure it was all over, that he was about to die, the damage was too severe for his body to regenerate itself in his condition. His mind had drifted away then showing him the faces of the people dear to him and whom he failed to protect. The unfamiliar but confident voice telling him he could still fix it, was the last thing he managed to grasp before he lost all consciousness.

The next time he was awake, he was in that damn alley, his eyes still there for some unknown reason.

Kaneki sighed crossing an arm over his eyes.

He thought of Hide, although the mere thought of him made his heart ache. He had been so selfish and there wasn’t anyone else to blame other than him. But he had been so afraid, so _scared_ of rejection, of seeing the only person who mattered him the most walk away from him leaving him alone. Also, Kaneki didn’t want to put him in dangerous situations. But that was no excuse and he had dragged Hide into all this mess anyway. Touka’s words echoed in his mind, she was right. He wasn’t being selfless. He was only trying to protect himself.

Kaneki would never forget the feeling of seeing his best friend after six months. He had thought it was only a hallucination at first, after all, Hide didn’t know about him, right? Hide was safe far from there and wasn’t aware of what he had become. Right?

He had been so wrong.

Fear and anxiety had taken hold of him then. Fear of hurting him, anxiety because Hide _had known_. All this time he had known about Kaneki’s situation and what astounded Kaneki the most was the fact that Hide wasn’t disgusted by him, Hide treated him the same, always being his cheerful self.

He fiercely wanted to believe he didn’t hurt him -or something worse- when the blond had found him, but how could he be sure of that if he hadn’t been in his right mind in that moment. He blacked out at some point and when he had woken up Hide was nowhere to be seen. The taste of blood in his mouth was now fresh in his mind.

Kaneki removed the arm from his face and stared at the ceiling.

 _At least he’s still here in this timeline,_ he thought, but it did nothing to make him feel any better.

* * *

Sleep never came.

* * *

The smell of coffee and eggs snuck through the slightly opened door indicating that the raven haired boy was already up and preparing breakfast. Kaneki growled at the revolting smell of the eggs and buried his face deep in the pillow. He was already feeling like shit thanks to the return of his memories and lack of sleep, and now this. He didn’t know how much time he would keep making up excuses to avoid human food.

He didn’t plan on telling Ken about his memories anytime soon. He didn’t even know a ghoul was living under his roof. Kaneki didn’t know when or rather _if_ he would ever tell him. But he knew Ken had the right to know. Plus, he couldn’t lie to himself, he knew it was only a matter of time. Just… not yet.

Kaneki reluctantly got out of bed and made his way to the kitchen, making a short stop at the bathroom to wash his face and brush his teeth. In the kitchen, he found the brunet with his back turned to him holding a plastic spatula stirring whatever he was cooking – _the eggs_ , he supposed- in the frying pan, unaware of his presence.

It was times like this when the painful reminder of what he had lost came back in its full force. Everything seemed so _calm._

Ken was still oblivious to him and Kaneki took the opportunity to watch him. It was like seeing old videos of himself. He used to be so thin and he looked so frail. It was nostalgic, in a way. When the other boy didn’t give any signs of turning around soon, Kaneki broke the silence.

“Good morning,” voice hoarse for not using it for a while.

He wasn’t prepared for what happened next. Ken had been apparently lost in thought because the instant Kaneki said those words, he jumped so high, and it could have been actually funny if not for the sudden “ouch!” that left the boy’s lips, spatula dropping to the floor.

Kaneki hurried to his side and turned the stove off. “Are you okay? What happened?” he asked worriedly.

Ken raised a finger to his mouth to lick it as he said “it’s a small burn, don’t worry,” he looked at Kaneki with chiding eyes, “but don’t scare me like that! I swear it’s like you’re a cat, I can never hear your steps.”

Ken compared him to a cat, but right now Kaneki thought the raven haired boy resembled more a cat than him by the way he was licking his finger and the small frown that had appeared on his face _. An angry kitten actually,_ he thought and he couldn’t help the smile that came to his lips.

“Why are you smiling?” Ken asked with suspicion and a small pout. Kaneki had to bite his lower lip hard to stop the laugh that was threatening to escape from his lips.

“It’s nothing,” he grinned one more time before he became serious, “come on, let me see your hand,” he stretched out his. Ken hesitated for a second but placed his burnt hand on top of Kaneki’s to let him see the damage.

“Like I said, it was only a small burn, I’ll be okay. I’ll just put my hand under the faucet and turn on the cold water,” Ken reassured.

He was right, it was only a minor burn. A small patch of the skin of his finger was reddened, but that was all. He would be okay. With that concern gone, Kaneki was now distracted by how soft and warm Ken’s hand felt on his. His hands used to be like this, soft and without any trace of the constant fights he was forced to undergo. Still looking at Ken’s hand, Kaneki let his thumb caress the back of it slowly, drawing invisible circles across it. When he realized what he was doing, he abruptly let go of his hand and looked up at Ken to apologize, but the words got stuck in his throat.

An endearing blush was now covering Ken’s cheeks, his gray eyes were widened and his lips were _slightly_ parted in surprise. Before a blush started to appear on his own cheeks at the sight, Kaneki turned away from him. _What was that?_

“Anyway, is there anywhere you want to go today?” Kaneki asked, grateful for the steadiness of his voice.

Ken didn’t answer right away. Kaneki thought that maybe he hadn’t heard him and was about to repeat the question when the other boy spoke in a small voice.

“A-actually yes. There are a few books I want to check out at the bookstore but I haven’t had the chance,” Ken answered hesitantly.

Kaneki wished he was wrong but there was a certain feeling of awkwardness lingering in the air.

He wanted it to disappear.

He turned to him.

“Sure, we could go there after breakfast. I want to look for new books to read as well, it’s been a while,” he said with -what he hoped- was a normal voice.

“Okay then,” Ken smiled. His blush was gone by now.

Kaneki moved towards the coffee maker taking a mug from the cabinet in the way, and poured the dark liquid in it. He took a sip.

“Three months and the coffee still doesn’t taste any better,” he laughed quietly at the look of indignation Ken was giving him. “I’ll seriously teach you how to brew fresh coffee sometime.”

“What? You know how to do that?” Ken asked, not without a hint of doubt.

“Yeah. I didn’t tell you, but I used to work at a coffee shop,” he answered, looking down with a thoughtful expression. His days at Anteiku had been a ray of light back then when he had thought he was alone. He missed them.

“If that’s the case, you could have mentioned it before, you know?” Ken reproached him.

“Yeah, but I had been hoping your coffee would actually get better. I was definitely wrong," he said as he walked past him, heading towards the bathroom to take a shower.

Ken glared at him.

* * *

The sun was high in the sky as they headed to the bookstore located in downtown. They had to take the subway a couple of times before reaching their destination, but it was a good day, Kaneki had to admit. The sky was clear and the weather was pretty nice, a bit chilly despite the sun.

“It’s actually a good day, isn’t it?” Ken mentioned, echoing his own thoughts.

“It is,” Kaneki agreed.

As they walked, they received curious looks. His white hair, the eyepatch or the fact that both of them had the same face, catching their attention. If it was the latter, they would definitely assume they were twins. It wasn’t the first time people stared at them.

But the truth was that they didn’t go out together often, Ken was busy with college stuff most of the time or hanging out with Hide, and Kaneki was usually outside, searching for any kind of clue that could lead him to answers. That or sometimes he found himself sitting on the bench in front of Anteiku, watching Touka as she took orders with a welcoming smile or Yoshimura occasionally talking to the customers. Every so often, Kaneki would see Hinami and her mother, Ryouko, hands holded as they walked into the coffee shop, Hinami smiling brightly at Touka. It was then when Kaneki felt the loneliest. He wished he could talk to them, apologize to them. _Anything_. But of course, they didn’t know who Kaneki Ken was, they wouldn’t recognize him… or perhaps they would, but not him, they would probably recognize Ken. Kaneki now remembered he frequently went there with Hide before the incident with Rize.

“Is there a specific book you want to read?” the raven haired boy asked then, pulling him out of his thoughts.

“Not really. It’s been a long time since I read a book, I’ll just look for something new to read,” he answered and glanced at Ken, there was a look of surprise on his face, probably wondering why it had been so long since he read a book. Kaneki didn’t blame him, he used to read all the time. But after he became a ghoul, he didn’t really have the time anymore.

Kaneki hadn’t noticed they had already arrived until he saw Ken from the corner of his eye suddenly stopping and going inside the bookstore.

That bookstore was one of his favorites. Although the place wasn’t very big, it was rare when they didn’t have a title he was looking for. It was a pleasant and comforting place.

He watched as Ken headed straight to the section of classics. His enthusiasm was evident, Kaneki noted and smiled.

Kaneki started eyeing the books from the nearest shelf when his gaze landed on one of them. He took it. _“The Black Goat’s Egg”_ by Takatsuki Sen _,_ the cover read. He hadn’t realized he was currently standing in the Japanese authors section.

But his mind was now focused on the book in his hands, inevitably bringing back memories of Rize and the day she had caught his attention. Sure, back then he had been attracted to her looks, but he had been more attracted to the idea that she was a reader like him, and not only that, but the possibility that they liked the same authors, given that they were reading the same book. He had soon developed a crush on her, an obvious crush to which Rize had taken advantage of. He recalled his date with her, that night had wrecked his life permanently.

 _If I hadn’t been so naïve or at least had listened to Hide at that time,_ he thought bitterly, clenching his fists.

Kaneki looked up at Ken. He was now in the fantasy genre shelf, a delighted look still present in his eyes, absent to everything. In that instant, Kaneki felt the overwhelming and fierce desire to protect the boy in front of him, no matter what. He would protect him from any danger, from anything or anyone that might hurt him. He would protect him from experiencing the same things he did.

It wasn’t the instinctive feeling of wanting to protect the most vulnerable part of yourself if you had the opportunity to. It was much more than that. Kaneki saw the other boy as his own person. A person he would undoubtedly protect.

The realization hit him so hard that Kaneki was taken aback at the unexpected but strong feeling.

Still surprised at his own thoughts, Kaneki left the place to get some fresh air. He didn’t know how much time he stood outside the bookstore absentmindedly watching the people passing by, when he felt a light tug at his shirt and turned around, now staring into a pair of very offended gray eyes.

“Why are you here? I thought you were going to look for something to read?” Ken asked, more worried than irritated.

“Sorry, I wasn’t feeling well and came here to get some air. But I feel better now… Did you buy anything?” he asked.

Ken gave him a concerned look before he lifted the bag -Kaneki didn’t notice he was holding- in response.

“I actually found almost all the books I wanted,” he added satisfied.

“I’m glad,” Kaneki said as they started walking back home. “You’re gonna have to lent them to me by the way, since I didn’t buy anything,” he mentioned casually.

The brunet only let out a resigned sigh, but Kaneki knew better. Ken would actually be excited to discuss the books with someone after he was done with them.

After a moment of comfortable silence, in which only the sound of their steps could be heard, he turned to Ken.

“Which books do yo-” the words died in his tongue.

 His muscles tensed, he knew _that_ scent.

_No, it couldn’t be._

Agitated, he started looking around, praying he was wrong. He knew Ken was talking to him, but he was too busy scanning the surroundings. When he didn’t see anyone, he started to feel himself relax and muttered a quick apologize to Ken. It wasn’t until they were near the street corner when his nose picked up the same scent, stronger than ever, and he was about to tell Ken they should walk in the opposite direction, when Kaneki caught a flash of blond hair and red headphones as the person ahead turned the corner, walking now towards them.

Kaneki immediately slipped into the alley to his right as fast as he could. He saw Ken’s startled look on him and his mouth opening to speak, as the person, who must have lifted their gaze and recognized Ken in front them, called out to him cheerfully.

“Yo! Kaneki!”

There was no mistake.

He would recognize that voice anywhere.

_Hide._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Cliffhanger heyy :-) I hope you liked this chapter! (btw man, I even gave myself feels when I wrote the kitchen scene lol what). Also, while I was writing this, I thought a few times that maybe I was writing Kaneki a little bit OOC? but I would like to think he would definitely be more relaxed (and maybe tease Ken a little bc why not) if he (finally) had some peace in his life. So...
> 
> I immensely appreciate all comments and kudos <33
> 
> I hope I can update soon, this time I don't have anything else written ;w; thanks again!
> 
>  
> 
> [My Tumblr](http://kanekikn.tumblr.com/)


	3. Hide

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for all the kudos, comments, etc :''')

_“Are you sure?” Ken asked, looking dubious._

_The white haired boy nodded grimly._

_“We can trust him, you also know that. He won’t tell anyone and who knows, maybe he can help us.”_

_Kaneki was sitting on the edge of the bed while Ken was fluttering around the room getting ready for class. It was the first time he would see Hide after Ken had found him in the alley._

_“I know that, it’s just that I can’t see him right now… please,” his voice broke on the last word._

_Ken sighed and stopped in front of him, crouching down to meet his eyes. “If that’s what you want, then I won’t tell anything to Hide. But…” Ken’s eyes were silently pleading, “… you have to promise me, you’ll tell me everything, even if it takes time. I can tell awful things happened and maybe it’s hard to talk about them, but I… I deserve to know,” he finally said._

_They looked at each other for what seemed like minutes._

_Kaneki knew he was right, he deserved to know because they were the same person and it was unfair to leave him oblivious to everything._

_“Okay, I promise,” he said at last._

_A smile spread across Ken’s lips, a small but relieved smile, before he straightened up. “I have to go now, it’s getting late. I’ll see you later, Kaneki-san.”_

_He waved goodbye to him, still smiling, and disappeared from his line of sight. Seconds later Kaneki heard the door shut._

* * *

 

Kaneki closed his eyes at the memory and opened them.

Ken’s eyes weren’t on him anymore, he had taken a few steps forward but Kaneki could still see his back and the movement of his shoulders, as if he was talking to someone, to _Hide._ His own back was pressed against the rough wall of the alley and he was starting to breathe with difficulty. He took off the eyepatch squeezing it in one hand and closed his eyes once again.

_You need to calm down…_

_…993, 986, 979_ …

_*crack*_

He took deep and long breaths and opened his eyes, forcing himself to calm.

 _I can’t keep running from everything, from all the things I’m afraid of,_ he thought firmly.

He moved tentatively, back pressed to the wall, until he was next to Ken, still hidden. This close, he could make out their voices clearly.

“You came from the bookstore, right ‘neki?” Hide was saying.

“Y-yeah. I wanted to look for some new books,” Ken responded, sounding unsure.

“You could have told me! I would have come with you, we hardly hang out anymore. Did you know rabbits can die from-”

“Loneliness,” Ken let out a nervous laugh. “I know that Hide, it’s just that I’ve been busy lately, I’m sorry,” he said, scratching his chin.

There was a pause.

“You know you can always tell me if something is bothering you or if you need help with something,” Hide’s voice had changed, there was worry coating his tone now, so unlike his usual carefree and cheery personality. “Is there-” Kaneki couldn’t stand it anymore, knowing he was the cause of his concern. He didn’t want to worry Hide any further.

He took one more deep breath and stepped out of the alley.

“I think we need to talk.”

Kaneki barely registered  Ken’s alarmed face and watched as Hide’s concerned one morphed into one of surprise, then to astonishment as his brown eyes widened and lastly, to complete stupefaction mixed with confusion, all written over his features. For a moment, Kaneki thought that that was such a foreign look on Hide’s face since the blond rarely got surprised by anything.

This was going to take a while.

* * *

 

“So, let me see if I got this right, you,” he was looking at Ken “found him,” he turned his eyes to Kaneki “unconscious in an alleyway near here and you didn’t notice you were carrying _your_ future self?” Hide’s eyes narrowed and he almost shouted the last word. They were back to Ken’s apartment, Hide was on the couch, while the two of them were standing trying to explain the situation.

“It was dark already! I couldn’t see a thing, besides, I heard someone coming so I had to get away from there and I couldn’t leave him,” Ken said defensively.

“Alright, alright, I think I get it. Wow, this sure is crazy, no wonder you didn’t want to tell me. Only because I’m seeing it with my own eyes I believe you, no offense by the way,” there was a glint in his eyes as if he was thinking it was such an amazing thing, Kaneki noticed.

He had been silent the whole time.

He had let the brunet take the word and instead he had been looking at every change in Hide’s expressions as he was listening to everything Ken was telling him. _I can’t believe he’s here,_ he thought with a lump in his throat. _He’s really here._ He looked so young, his blond hair still short and disheveled, unlike the last time he saw him.

He pushed those memories to the back of his mind.

Kaneki had to strain himself from pulling the blond into a hug, to make sure he was real, but more than anything, he wanted to apologize. Although, it would be pointless and it would only create more confusion, since the only version Hide knew of him was the black haired boy he was currently talking to.

His train of thoughts was interrupted when Hide suddenly jumped off the couch and slid an arm around Ken’s shoulders, bringing him closer. “This is awesome! It’s like you have your own doppelgänger, except you two are really the same person, huh? This is mind-blowing,” Hide exclaimed with an amazed look and let go of a very startled Ken.

“Y-yeah, I guess you could say that,” Ken said, fixing his clothes.

Something about what just happened bothered Kaneki but he couldn't quite put his finger on it, perhaps it was because just moments ago he was wishing he could hug Hide, but there was _something_ else. He brushed the thought aside.

“We also still don’t know how it happened, how could I go back into the past,” Kaneki intervened. “I’ve been trying to find answers these past three months, without luck. Though, if no one appears or nothing changes, there isn’t much to do to begin with, because there’s no way this happened out of nowhere. Someone has to be behind this.”

Everyone was silent.

“You’re right,” it was the first time Hide talked directly to him. “Because time travel? Man, that isn’t a thing you see everyday,” he started walking towards the front door. “I have to go back, but if there’s something you need or think I can help with, drop me a message ‘neki!” he said but seemed to realize something and glanced over at Kaneki. “Wait, how should I call you? This is gonna be confusing.”

“Actually, I go by Ken now,” the black haired boy responded instead, a faint blush on his cheeks.  

“Really? Well, I hope I get used to it since all my life I’ve been calling you Kaneki,” he laughed as he opened the door. “By the way, Ka-Ken, you should totally dye your hair white too, it looks cool on you,” he flashed a smile at both of them. “See ya, guys!”

“Wait, Hide.”

It was Kaneki’s voice.

Hide turned around and Kaneki felt him tense against him as he wrapped his arms around him hugging him tightly, “I’m glad you’re okay,” Kaneki whispered and stepped back before Hide could react. He saw both Ken’s and Hide’s surprised faces as he walked out of the room.

* * *

 

“Well, it wasn’t too bad, was it? Hide reacted pretty well,” the brunet said. He handed Kaneki a cup of coffee and sat down next to him, taking a sip from his own cup. “Ugh, you’re right my coffee still tastes bad,” he sighed, defeated.

Kaneki’s mouth curled up into a small smile.

“Yeah, it went better than I thought, Hide is always understanding… and it was only a matter of time in any case,” he replied, staring at the lights of buildings in the distance through the window, it was night already. Comfortable silence settled between them.

“I’m going to bed. Thanks for the coffee,” Kaneki said moments later, already on his feet and heading towards his room.

“Wait, aren’t you gonna eat anything?” he heard Ken’s voice behind him.

“No, I’m fine,” he answered without turning, though at the simple mention of eating, his stomach growled almost imperceptibly. _No, it isn’t time yet, I can still hold back the hunger._

He closed his door.

* * *

 

Pain.

Excruciating pain exploded behind his eyes as he felt them being gouged out with crude force.

_No no no, I can still fight, I can still save Yoshimura and Anteiku and Touka and Hide, everyone. It isn’t over. They cannot take from me the only place where I belong. I need strength, I need more strength to protect my friends, I need to-_

_“That’s right, Kaneki-kun. You need to get stronger in order to protect your beloved friends,” Rize’s honeyed voice rang in his ears and he felt cold arms encircle him. “That is the only way,” she whispered._

_Yes, I need more strength. I wasn’t strong enough and that’s why I couldn’t save Yoshimura, that’s why I hurt Hide, that’s why I couldn’t fight anymore, that’s why I lost everything._

_Because I’m weak._

_That’s why I needneedneed to-_

_Eat._

Kaneki was suddenly awake, heart pounding and drenched in sweat.

 _It was only a nightmare, just a nightmare, it wasn’t real,_ but the ache in his head was very real and it was getting worse second by second.

He walked to the bathroom, took off his clothes and stood under the shower resting his head against the tile, letting the cold water calm his nerves.  He didn’t know how much time he stayed like that but the pain in his head wasn’t lessening at all. After a while, he gave up and stepped out of the shower drying his body with a clean towel.

He stared at his reflection in the mirror, water dripping off his wet hair and tiny drops sliding down his cheeks. His skin, normally pale, was even paler, almost sickly white, and there were dark shadows under his bloodshot eyes.

He felt a vague but familiar sensation coursing through his body in that moment. _No, there’s still time_. _When was the last time I ate? Two months ago?_ He focused on his reflection again and there it was, the black sclera and red iris staring back at him. He would have to feed sooner than he expected.

He flicked off the lights and walked out of the bathroom, retreating to bed, but just then he was caught off guard when an alluring scent filled his nostrils, making him stop in his tracks and making his mouth water instantaneously. He had never smelled something so enticing in his whole life _._

He remembered this feeling. It was the same feeling when he had fought with Nishio only days after he had become a ghoul and almost lost control when he smelled the fresh blood from Hide’s wounds. He would have fed off his best friend if it hadn’t been for Touka’s intervention.

But no one was there to stop him this time.

_Right?_

Something changed within him.

_I need to find the source, whatever it is and tear off the skin, eat the sweet flesh and lick all the blood off my fingers, yes, I have to-_

Rize’s saccharine, mocking laugh in his head snapped him back to reality.

Kaneki froze in horror as realization dawned on him. He was outside Ken’s room.

He had definitely noticed it before, the appetizing scent that radiated from the raven haired and _very_ human boy, since the moment he had woken up, of course he was aware of it and even he had understood why Rize had laid her eyes on him, that’s why he had always held himself back, avoided getting close to him, and always made sure his hunger was controlled. And he never ceased to feel guilty because of that, but in that moment he felt so sick of himself, of what he was about to do, he had almost let his instincts take over.

He would never forgive himself if he hurt Ken.

He couldn’t stay in the apartment any longer, he needed to feed as soon as possible.

Kaneki rushed to his room and got dressed as fast as he could trying not to make any loud noises. He glanced at the clock on the nightstand.

 _1:35 am, okay I have enough time but I need to hurry,_ he thought as he grabbed a black hoodie on his way out.

* * *

 

The sound of water running in the shower dragged him from his dreamless sleep.

With drowsy eyes Ken saw brightness under his closed door. _It must be from the bathroom but why is Kaneki taking a shower this late?_ , he thought sleepily.

He didn’t go back to sleep and after ten minutes or so, the sound stopped. Everything went dark again as Ken heard the door of the bathroom closing.

He was about to close his eyes again after making sure everything was okay and decided he would ask the white haired boy the next day, when he heard muffled sounds from the other side of his door. His ears picked up words but couldn’t figure out what he was saying and then _laughter?_ It was low but it nevertheless made the hair on the back of his neck stand up.

_Kaneki?_

Ken waited, his pulse quickening and all of sudden he heard the faint but desperately sound of footsteps in the room next to his.

Ken pushed the blankets aside and got up from the bed quickly, but as soon as he opened the door and walked out of the room, he was in time to see Kaneki racing to the front door, unaware of him.

“Ka-” he tried to say but the white haired boy was already gone.

Something was very wrong.

He knew Kaneki had been acting weird since Hide left the apartment.

He took the decision in that moment. He immediately went back to his own room and put on the first clothes he found, grabbed the keys from the kitchen table and went after him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Another cliffhanger ha ｡◕ ‿ ◕｡
> 
> I hope you liked this chapter! I'm ngl, I'm excited to write the next one, hopefully it will turn out the way I want to ;w; 
> 
> I appreciate all comments, kudos, etc <3 let me know if I have mistakes or sth.
> 
> Thank you for reading!


	4. Ghoul

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So... I think I'm satisfied w/ this chapter? I had to rewrite a lot of scenes so many times tho *sighs*
> 
> Anyway, I hope you like it <3

Although it was a fairly cold night, he felt a line of sweat dripping down his back.

 _How can he run so fast_? Ken wondered, annoyed, as he came to a stop, arms resting on his knees trying to catch his breath.

Once he had stepped out of the apartment complex, he’d had barely time to discover Kaneki’s figure in the distance, getting farther away second by second. He had followed him, running as fast as his legs allowed him, but the gap between them was getting wider and at some point Ken had inevitably lost sight of him.

He was angry at himself for losing the white haired boy.

He knew he should go back. There was a reason the streets were currently deserted. It was dangerous to be outside so late, who knows what kind of people could be out there, waiting for an opportunity to act on easy preys like him. People or… ghouls.

He had never seen one, and if it were for him, he wouldn’t want that to change. Ever.

The smartest thing to do right then was to head back, but Ken was so worried about Kaneki, it was also unsafe for him to be out. That’s why he kept running through random streets, he had to find him. He wouldn’t forgive himself if something were to happen to Kaneki because he didn’t try harder.

Nevertheless, after ten minutes or so of careless running, Ken was beginning to lose hope. There weren’t signs of him anywhere.

He started to feel tears welling up in his eyes, catching him by surprise. He didn’t know why he was suddenly crying. Perhaps it was due to all the frustration he was feeling.

But there was more to it, not only frustration because he couldn’t find Kaneki. If he had to be honest with himself, he knew it was also because he was tired of waiting, of keep waiting for Kaneki to fulfill his promise.

Ken wiped his tears with the sleeve of his sweater as he rounded the corner of the next street and looked up, stopping short.

Everything he had been thinking until then was long-forgotten when his gray eyes focused on the slim figure ahead.

_Kaneki._

His back was facing him and he was standing at the end of the street, but it was him, it was really him. His white hair was visible; the streetlights making it stand out. A wave of relief washed over him. He had finally found him and he seemed well.

Ken was about to call him when an idea crossed his mind.

He decided to watch him.

It was wrong to spy on him but opportunities like this didn’t arise everyday.

Ken moved backwards carefully until his back was leaning against the wall of the street he had just came from, and peered at the white haired boy. Kaneki was still standing in the same spot, but his head was up and moving slowly in slightly different directions as if he was hearing or probably smelling something in the cold air.

Ken waited.

When he was beginning to wonder if Kaneki would ever move from there, the other boy stopped whatever he was doing and his head snapped violently in the direction of the alleyway on the other side of the street. Ken was taken aback when, in a flash, Kaneki covered his head and broke into a run towards it, vanishing between the walls.

Ken didn’t waste any time and followed him.

* * *

 

_I can’t believe it. I can’t believe I lost sight of him._

_Again._

So much for trying to follow him.

Ken wanted to punch a wall out of frustration. He almost cursed at Kaneki’s absurd ability to run so fast. It didn’t make sense.

Now that he had lost track of Kaneki, this really seemed like a bad idea. An awfully bad idea.

He glanced at his wrist watch -in his rush he forgot to grab his phone-, it was almost 3:00 am. He couldn’t stay there any longer, it was too risky, he needed to keep moving.

And so he did.

* * *

 

This wasn’t good. This wasn’t good at all.

Fifteen minutes had gone by already and he still was in the same situation. No signs of Kaneki. What was worse, he didn’t recognize where he was.

Ken was starting to panic. He didn’t want to admit he was lost but the feel of his heart beating so fast in his chest and the irrational thoughts at the possible consequences that began to crawl into his mind, betrayed him.

His thoughts were cut short when a nearby and sudden loud bump, as if something heavy had hit a wall, resounded in his ears making him jolt.

The sound made his blood ran cold.

That was the last drop.

Ken couldn’t help it, he started running as fast as he could with no sense of direction. The only thing in his mind was to get the hell out of there and-

He stopped cold.

Ken couldn’t tear his eyes away from the scene in front of him.

Blood splattering the walls and ground.

The terrifying sound of teeth tearing off flesh.

A white haired head bending down to suck the blood from the lifeless body on the ground.

Ken couldn’t tear his eyes away as Kaneki turned to look over at him, an ecstatic shine in his eyes, one gray, the other one black and red, and blood smeared across his mouth and chin, before his delighted expression crumbled and reflected the same horrified look Ken knew he had on his face.

“Ken, wait! _KEN!_ ” he heard Kaneki's voice behind him.

Ken didn’t know when he started running. He was suddenly dashing through the alleyways, ignoring the burning feeling in his legs.

_How? How could I be so stupid? It was obvious; it was so obvious since the beginning. That’s why I never saw him eat anything, why he wore the eyepatch all the time, why he was able to run so fast, why he never told me anything. How did this happen? Is it even possible? How did I-_

_How did I turn into a ghoul?_

He didn’t want to look back, he didn’t want to think, he didn’t want to believe.

He didn’t want to see Kaneki ever again.

Ken was aware he was crying, his vision was getting blurry and it was getting harder to see where he was going, but he didn’t stop, he was well conscious of the rapid steps following him. From the corner of his eye, he caught the glimpse of a shadow before it outran him, making him stop abruptly.

“Well well well, what do we have here?” a male voice purred.

A tall man was now blocking his way, a wicked smile on his lips and elated dark eyes roaming up and down the brunet’s body. Ken watched, terrified, as the man’s eyes suddenly turned black and red, a tongue darting out to lick his lips.

“Just when I thought I’d run out of luck, you appeared out of nowhere,” the man said, amused. “My night just got a lot better.”

Ken didn’t say anything, he was too petrified to talk or move.

“What? A cat got your tongue?” he mocked. “Well kid, this wasn’t your day, but don’t feel bad, you just happened to be in the wrong place and the wrong time,” the man’s grin widened. “This will only take a moment.” He got closer.

Ken finally stepped away from him, until his back hit the alley’s wall. Panting harshly, his widened eyes started looking around desperately for some sort of weapon, anything he could use against the ghoul but there was nothing there besides the two of them.

“Don’t try anything,” the ghoul said. “But don’t worry, I have a little reward for you for not causing me any trouble,” he laughed, “your death will be-”

The man never finished his sentence.

A red and long tentacle-like thing collided with the ghoul then, piercing him through the stomach and sending him flying until he slammed with the wall on the other side of the alley with a sharp thump.

Ken was too shocked that he almost missed Kaneki walking over to the man’s limp body, not even glancing in his direction. He noticed that the tentacle thing was coming from Kaneki’s lower back, but it wasn’t only one, there were four red tentacles looming around him.

Ken started to relax mildly upon seeing the white haired boy, but soon, the feeling was replaced with absolute horror as he watched Kaneki repeatedly stab the man’s body, blood flying everywhere staining the walls and shuddering, cracking noises as bones were getting broken.

“Die, you fucking bastard,” Kaneki said with a low, frightening voice as he kept stabbing the man relentlessly.

He had never been more terrified of Kaneki.

Appalled, Ken could only watch the scene before him when a drop of warm blood fell on his cheek, knocking him out of his trance.

“K-Kaneki! Stop, stop it already!” Ken cried out. Tears were now flowing freely and sliding down his face. “He’s already dead! Please, stop! Kaneki, _please._ ”

Kaneki didn’t seem to hear, he was still focused on the already dead ghoul and Ken, gathering all the courage he had, moved up to him, pulling at his clothes. “Kaneki! Look at me, please! Stop! _”_ he screamed with a broken voice.

Kaneki stilled then, staring at the motionless and barely recognizable body, the bloodied tentacles gradually disappearing within his body.

“K-Kaneki?”

In less than a second, the black haired boy found himself pinned against the chapped wall. Arms were propped behind him, to each side of his head, trapping him, and he was now looking into Kaneki’s eyes. There was still the characteristic ghoul eye taking over one of them and he was wearing an unreadable expression. A heavy smell of blood was surrounding him.

Before Ken could do anything, Kaneki moved closer and leaned forward, soft hair tickling his cheek as Kaneki nuzzled his face in the crook of his neck. Too frightened to move, Ken could only shut his eyes, heart pounding in his chest and breath coming in short pants. He felt Kaneki’s nose and lips trail down slowly, reaching his collarbones and stopping there, inhaling the scent of his skin.

Ken gasped softly and opened his eyes when one of Kaneki’s hands buried in his hair, grasping it gently between his fingers and used his other arm to bring him closer to him, pressing their bodies together in such an intimate way, it made him feel light-headed. An alarming flush of color spread across Ken’s face when he felt something hard pressing against his leg, making him feel butterflies in his stomach. However, before heat started gathering in his lower regions in response, Kaneki moved slightly and finally spoke.

“I-I’m sorry,” he said in a brittle voice. “I’m so sorry.”

Kaneki soon started crying, his sobs muffled by Ken’s neck. The sound was unexpectedly heartbreaking.

“Kaneki,” he called. “Kaneki, look at me.”

The other boy’s head remained hidden and Ken held Kaneki’s face in his hands, making him meet his gaze.

A gray eye, the same as his.

The other one, black and red.

Ken didn’t know how to describe the look in Kaneki’s eyes. There were so many unspoken feelings reflected in them. He saw regret, fear, guilt, worry, anxiety, _dread,_ all collected within those eyes.

Tears were dampening his cheeks and Ken saw a few glittering on his thick eyelashes. He used his thumbs to wipe them away, his fingers caressing his reddened face as he got closer to him until their foreheads touched lightly. Kaneki closed his eyes.

“Shh… it’s okay, it’s okay. I forgive you, please stop crying,” he whispered. “We need to talk but we can’t stay here. Come on, let’s go home.”

Kaneki slowly opened his eyes and nodded.

* * *

 

It would be dawn soon.

The way back to his apartment had been rather silent. They hadn’t walked side to side like the usual. Instead, Kaneki had walked a few steps behind, leaving Ken alone with his thoughts. At least the silent had reassured him the white haired boy was still behind by the sound of his steps.

Back in the apartment, Ken finally broke the silence.

“I think we should rest for a few hours. We were up almost all night.” He looked over his shoulder at Kaneki. “After all, you have a lot of explaining to do” Ken said jokingly, trying to lighten the somber mood. He was actually surprised at how calm he currently felt. But Kaneki… Kaneki didn’t look well at all. His eyes were reddened and had heavy bags under them; there were even still traces of dried blood below his lips. He would give Kaneki time to collect himself and order his thoughts.

Kaneki only nodded once before retreating to his bedroom quietly.

* * *

 

Ken couldn’t get back to sleep.

After taking a brief shower and putting on clean clothes, he was still wide awake on his bed staring at nothing in particular. No matter how physically drained he felt, all the events that occurred only a few hours ago were keeping him away from dozing off.

He was pretty sure Kaneki was in the same situation. Or even worse.

Ken rose from the bed and without really thinking, he found himself outside of Kaneki’s room.

It wasn’t a very good idea, but Kaneki was most likely feeling really guilty over all the things that happened and Ken couldn’t stand that. He wanted to let him know he wasn’t upset or afraid of him. He should be, but the emotions the white haired boy had displayed when he was crying had been so overwhelmingly real and genuine, he had felt them within him. Of course, it was still a huge shock that somehow his future self was a ghoul and said future self had forgotten to mention that tiny detail, though he didn't blame him at all, if Ken were in his place, he would have done the same thing.

He didn’t knock in case Kaneki was actually sleeping. He didn’t want to bother him. So instead, he opened the door somewhat hesitant and slipped through it before he could change his mind. Thankfully, Kaneki wasn’t facing him; he was lying on one side of the bed facing the window, even though the curtains were shut. He had also showered and put on another set of clothes.

He didn’t turn, but it didn’t seem like he was sleeping either, the lack of steady and long breathing gave him away.

With determination, Ken climbed into the bed. He felt Kaneki stiffen when he laid his head on the pillow left but he didn’t move or say a word. Still feeling unexpectedly bold, he started rubbing Kaneki’s back lightly with a finger trying to relax him. The action reminded him when only yesterday, Kaneki had held his hand, so tenderly and with so much care; the feeling of his rough fingers touching his had felt so comforting. He hadn’t been able to hide from the white haired boy how much that affected him. It was embarrassing.

Ken moved closer to him, until his nose was only a few inches from his hair. The scent of blood had dissipated completely.  He smelled clean, with only a hint of mint –from the shampoo-, and beneath that, the soothing scent that was his and only his. Ken closed his eyes for a short time and reopened them. He took in a large mouthful of air.

“I’m not angry or afraid of you nor I blame you. I think I understand why you hid this from me,” he said, voice only above a whisper. “Please, don’t feel guilty or blame yourself for what happened. You saved my life. It was wrong and reckless of me to follow you like that. The truth is… I was worried about you but I shouldn’t have done it. I’m sorry.”

“I-I don’t know much about ghouls, I’d never even seen one before today, but you already knew that. So… you can imagine the beyond confusion and shock I felt when the first ghoul ever I saw was actually my future self,” he smiled sadly. “And I won’t lie to you. There was actually a moment back there when I was really scared of you, of what I’d seen. But surprisingly, I don’t hold that feeling anymore. Because I trust you Kaneki, I’ve always trusted you,” he started to feel a burning sensation in his already swollen eyes. “H-however, I have to know… please, tell me you don’t-” he forced himself to say the next words, conscious of hot tears streaming down his cheeks, “y-you don’t actually kill humans.” Ken knew he was being naïve for asking something like that, since ghouls’ only food supply were his own kind, but he had to know.

He shut his eyes tightly, afraid of Kaneki’s answer, afraid of what he would say and why would be his reaction if he said he did. His mind refused to dwell on that possibility.

Moments passed and the next thing he knew was that cold hands were resting on each side of his face, bringing him a little bit closer and the unexpected but feather-like graze of warm lips across his cheek. It was so quick and so sudden he could’ve had imagined it, if not for the adorable, faint blush that was dusting Kaneki’s cheeks and his indecipherable and yet affectionate gaze when Ken opened his eyes and met his. He didn’t even blush at the gesture, he was completely taken aback to do so.

“Don’t cry,” the other boy whispered softly, wiping away his tears with a finger, just like Ken had done with him in the alleyway. “You don’t have to apologize. None of this would’ve happened if I’d told you everything since the day you  _saved_ me. You had every right to know but my irrational and foolish fears held me back. I was selfish and I’m sorry.”

“To answer your question… I don’t. I’ve never killed a human. Since I became a ghoul, I’ve mostly fed off other ghouls. The body you saw in the alley when you ran into me belonged to a ghoul. I don’t think you noticed, because you fled from there,” the corner of his mouth twitched up a little, “but there was another body there. A human body. I always try to track down dangerous ghouls who are a serious threat to humans or, to be more specific, ghouls that kill or eat for pleasure. But this time, I… I arrived too late,” Kaneki looked away, sadly.

“Wait, do you mean, you already knew of that ghoul?” Ken was surprised at the clarity of his own voice.

“… Yeah, since a few days ago I knew there were ghoul attacks within the ward and I’d been meaning to do something. I was lucky enough to detect his whereabouts last night. But I….  I should have stopped him sooner.”

After a brief pause he carried on.

“And also… I’ve eaten from human corpses. People who decided to end with their own life,” he said, still looking away, “that was mostly in the beginning, though,” he added, directing his gaze back at him.

Ken stayed in silence, still processing what Kaneki had revealed to him. He was so relieved over the fact that Kaneki had never killed a human, but he was still looking for the right words to say. At last, he settled for a short response, but what he hoped, conveyed all his feelings.

“I’m glad,” he smiled sincerely at him. “I feel glad you told me all of this. Thank you.”

Kaneki smiled back and became thoughtful.

“If you were following me the entire time, I do wonder why I didn’t notice your presence. I should’ve been able to hear or smell you. You have a very distinctive smell, you know,” his smile grew upon seeing Ken’s flustered face. But then Kaneki looked down and turned serious. It gave the impression he wanted to say more but instead he returned his eyes to his. “Now, we really should get some sleep, even though it’s nearly 8:00 am,” he shook his head lightly. “I’ll tell you everything later,” he promised.

Ken nodded, grateful, and turned to his side, a satisfied smile lingering on his lips.

He didn’t know how much time had passed when he felt strong arms snaking around his waist, pulling him closer until his back was pressed against Kaneki’s chest, the ghoul’s face buried on the back of his neck; his breath tickling the skin there. He almost jumped in surprise. He turned his head to scold him when he realized the white haired boy was actually in a deep sleep.

He sighed. Once again, the situation inevitably brought back another of his memories - when Kaneki had pulled his body to his so incredibly close…

… And had felt _another thing_ immediately afterwards.

Ken felt himself blushing furiously at the memory and resisted the urge to hide his face in his hands.

Sleep didn’t come for a long time.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I swear the forehead touch and the "let's go home" weren't intentional omg. I was like "wait... this sounds familiar", damn those last chapters of TG, oh well.
> 
> I really hope you enjoyed this chapter! 
> 
> Thank you so much for all the support <33 every time I see new kudos, comments or bookmarks I :'''')
> 
> (On another note, I go back to uni on monday *cries*, but hopefully I'll be able to update soon... ;w;)


	5. Acknowledge

Kaneki woke up to the sensation of something tickling his nose, almost making him sneeze.

His eyes fluttered open, instantly noting that the thing that was brushing his nose was hair.

Ken’s hair.

Every trace of sleep was gone when he peered down and took in his and Ken’s position. His arms were around the smaller boy, holding him securely within his arms, and their bare legs were intertwined with each other’s.

How the hell did they end up like this? Moreover, when did his arms shamelessly decide to embrace Ken? Yeah, he recalled the raven haired boy coming over to his room and the short conversation they had before they agreed to rest for a few hours. But being like this felt…

Felt rather nice.

Kaneki wasn’t going to deny it; being able to hold Ken’s delicate and soft body so close to his was an incredibly pleasant feeling. He hadn’t been this comfortable before.

He inhaled deeply, taking in Ken’s unique and tempting scent and readjusted his hold on him, hugging him a little bit more tightly. He waited, afraid that he had woken him up, but that wasn’t the case; Ken was still breathing long and steady. Kaneki didn’t want to disturb him. It was his fault Ken stayed up for so many hours last night.

Starting to feel drowsy, he closed his eyes once again. A lazy smile tugged at his lips.

The thought that he hadn’t had any nightmares was the last thing that crossed his mind.

* * *

 

Kaneki wasn’t sure for how many more hours he dozed off; the next time he regained consciousness, the sun was setting down. An ample variety of shades were coloring the sky: some orange and yellow, other blue, even pink, as they that could be seen through the now, opened curtains.

But what he noticed the most was the lack of warmth in his arms. Kaneki touched Ken’s side of the mattress; it was cold. He must’ve gotten up time ago. Kaneki yawned and stretched his arms before he rose from the bed.

It truly felt like had passed years since he’d slept this good.

Kaneki walked out of the room and his feet took him to the kitchen, but the black haired boy was nowhere to be seen. He was about to look for him when his eyes landed on a small note on the table. He took it.

_If you’re awake and reading this, don’t worry._

_I went to shop a few things._

_I’ll be back soon._

_PS. I made coffee earlier, if you want (you won’t, probably, and I don’t blame you)._

Kaneki smiled and shook his head. Ken was so hopeless when it came to coffee.

He decided to take a shower in the mean time.

* * *

 

The hot water hit his back, relaxing his muscles. All the events from last night seemed like a distant dream. Did all of that really happen? He still felt beyond guilty that Ken had seen him like that. To think that he saw him in that state; so savage, so crude, so unlike himself.

Kaneki hadn’t realized just how hungry he was until last night. Thankfully, he’d eaten the sufficient when Ken had showed up out of nowhere, but still… His mind would never be able to forget the look of pure terror that had spread across his face; a look he’d put on it.

And to make things worse, there was the incident with that random ghoul. Kaneki couldn’t help but react the way he did when he saw and heard him mocking and threatening the black haired boy. He hadn’t felt that kind of rage in such a long time, the kind that makes you see red and inevitably lose control.

He didn’t regret what he’d done to that ghoul, but he did regret that Ken was there to watch it.

Kaneki sighed resignedly.

He would be feeling so miserable if it wasn’t for Ken’s attitude towards the whole thing. It still amazed Kaneki that he wasn’t terrified of him or hated him; he felt so grateful. He wouldn’t know what to do if Ken had reacted completely different, _rational_ , actually, now that he thought about it.

Kaneki dried his hair before wrapping the towel around his waist, and exited the bathroom.

He was just in time to see Ken slipping off his shoes at the entrance; he was carrying two bags in his hand. The other boy was looking down, so Kaneki waited until Ken became aware of him to speak. When he did, Ken’s neutral expression changed. Kaneki saw his eyes on his bare chest before he shifted them away as fast as possible. Ken coughed awkwardly and met his gaze. There was small blush on his cheeks.

“Hey, you’re up. That’s good. I was beginning to think you would sleep forever… it was worrying,” he laughed, still with the same air of discomfort. He set the bags down on the kitchen counter.

“Actually, I woke up only half an hour ago. What did you buy?” Kaneki asked curiously.

“Oh, only a few things I needed… food,” he replied hesitantly, and locked eyes with him.

Kaneki walked towards him and didn’t stop until their faces were only inches apart from each other. Ken’s eyes widened a little and swallowed, but he didn’t move away. Despite his earlier feeling of gratefulness, now Kaneki didn’t know whether to feel bothered or relieved that Ken hadn’t backed away from him.

Kaneki leaned forward so his mouth was next to the brunet’s ear.

“I need to tell you everything.”

* * *

 

After changing into his clothes, Kaneki had sat down on the sofa with Ken sitting opposite to him.

And he told him every single thing: from his date with Rize and how hard the first days were after discovering what he’d turned into, to the CCG’s attack to Anteiku.

He’d omitted some things, of course; like details on what Yamori had done to him, although he did tell him his white hair was the result of the constant stress he’d gone through.

And surely, he didn’t tell him about Hide.

Kaneki didn’t tell him how he wasn’t even sure the Hide from his timeline was alive; or dead.

Dead because of him.

He suppressed that thought.

Remembering and talking about it made him feel somewhat uneasy. So much had happened in such a short time, and in this timeline, nothing had happened at all. It was obvious, since the origin of everything had been him and the change in his body, but still, it was something strange to think about.

Ken had listened to everything Kaneki said attentively, albeit with widened eyes and an endless look of surprise and faint horror. He didn’t say a word the whole time. Not even when Kaneki was finished.

It hadn’t occurred to him that it probably wasn’t a good idea to tell Ken everything at once. Kaneki mentally scolded himself for being so thoughtless.

 “… perhaps, I shouldn’t have told you everything right now. I’m sorr-” but Kaneki was interrupted when Ken suddenly rose to his feet and looked right at him with determined eyes, startling him.

“Don’t. Don’t apologize. I-I just don’t know what to say. It’s just that I can’t imagine… I can’t even imagine how hard it must have been, everything you lived, all the things you were forced to go through,” he said, his voice thick with emotion. “I can tell there are things you want to keep to yourself and you don’t have to tell me unless you want to… you have your own reasons,” he immediately added when saw Kaneki opening his mouth to speak.

“To tell you the truth, all of this would be hard to believe for anyone. But I do, and not only because of what happened last night. I believe you, Kaneki. Thank you for telling me everything. It really means a lot,” Ken gave him a luminous smile that reached his eyes and made Kaneki’s heart skip a beat. Before he could get taken aback at his body’s reaction he heard Ken’s soft voice again.  “This is probably going to sound selfish because you still don’t know how you ended up in the past, but I… I’m happy you’re here now. I’m happy you’re having at least some time to be at peace, to have some kind of peace in your life. But you need to know, none of this was or is your fault. You had no way of knowing that ghoul wasn’t what she pretended to be. And more importantly, by everything you told me, I’m sure you never gave up, not until the very last moment. To be honest, it’s incredible that _I_ managed to survive all of that,” Ken’s lips twitched up at the corners, “and I know there’s no doubt you didn’t have any other choice but to accept it and endure it. But in the end, it was up to you to give up, and you never did. And you know why that is? Because you’re strong. You’re strong, Kaneki,” he smiled tenderly at him.

However, Ken’s smile faltered when he noted something on him.

Kaneki wasn’t even aware he’d suddenly started crying until a warm drop fell on his hand. He raised it and wiped the few tears that had gathered on both of his eyes.

“I’m sorry,” he tried to laugh and failed. “I don’t even know why I’m crying. This must be weird to you,” Kaneki said, looking away. “The second time in less than a day, huh,” he said apologetically.

Ken got closer to him without doubt, and moments later he felt Ken’s arms encircling his neck and his hand stroking his hair over and over.

That was the last straw.

The tears started flowing nonstop.

He hugged Ken back and cried like he hadn’t in forever. He finally let himself cry out all the feelings that had been piling up within him, day after day. He cried and he sobbed. He was sure he must be wetting Ken’s shirt but the brunet didn’t say a thing, he just kept caressing his hair in silence.

After a while, when there were no more tears to cry, he loosened his hold on the raven haired boy.

Ken released him and moved slightly away to look at his face. Kaneki was sure it was a mess, but he met his eyes anyway.

“Do you feel better?” Ken asked in a low voice.

Kaneki nodded.

“Thank you,” he said, voice hoarse from crying. He glanced down at Ken’s clothes. “I ruined your shirt, sorry.”

“Forget about my shirt. The important thing right now is that it helped at least a bit,” Ken smiled softly. They stayed like that for some minutes, in silence. Ken still stroking and brushing his white strands, until Kaneki’s small sobs ceased completely.

“Thank you,” Kaneki repeated. “I really needed this.”

Ken smiled at him.

Kaneki saw a question in his gray eyes, but before he could say something, the other boy spoke.

“I… want to know something. How often do you need to…?” Ken started to say, but trailed off.

“Eat?”

The other boy nodded.

“Only once every two months or so,” Kaneki answered. “But what happened last night was definitely so careless of me. I wasn’t aware I needed to eat already. It’s dangerous to be close to you or any human when the hunger starts to rise. The more you wait to feed, higher are the chances to lose control. That’s why I had to eat as soon as possible.” He almost didn’t want to tell Ken this, but he had to know how things worked.

Ken was thoughtful for a moment. “Then last night, how did you…” He didn’t finish the sentence but somehow, Kaneki knew exactly what he wanted to ask.

“I won’t lie to you. I wasn’t conscious of my state of hunger until I… smelled your scent. Like I said, it’s risky to be near you when I’m hungry. I almost did something I’d have never forgiven myself,” Kaneki replied, averting his eyes. Then he looked up, holding his gaze, “I won’t hurt you, and I swear I will never let anything happen to you. Ever.”

Heat rushed to Ken’s face.

He was about to say something but his stomach decided to take the word for him. It wasn’t actually loud, but Kaneki’s sharp hearing sense caught the growling sound coming from his stomach. Ken’s blush got deeper, if it was even possible.

Kaneki grinned. “I didn’t realize it was already this late, this took a lot more time than I thought. You need to eat. You have class tomorrow, right?”

“Yeah, I should eat something and then go to bed,” Ken answered with a small yawn. “I don’t want to skip a day of college. Hide would get worried,” he said with sleepy eyes but then he seemed to think of something. “By the way, are you going to tell him? We just barely told him about...” He gestured towards him.

Kaneki became serious. “I will tell him, but not now. I think it’s best to wait at least a few days.”

Ken made a sound of agreement and walked into the kitchen, disappearing from his sight.

Even if he’d really gotten enough hours of sleep, Kaneki still felt exhausted. Though he certainly felt better now that he’d told Ken everything; there were no more secrets between them. He sank down into the couch and closed his eyes, satisfied, immediately giving in to sleep.

He snapped his eyes open when he felt a light touch on his shoulder, and then he was looking straight into Ken’s amused eyes. “Sorry for waking you up, but you’re so gonna regret sleeping in such an uncomfortable position in the morning,” he said smiling. “Come on, you should go to bed.”

“Yeah, yeah,” Kaneki said, rubbing his tired eyes. He got up and headed to his room with Ken trailing behind him. However, he only gave a few steps before he stopped short.

“Kaneki? What’s wrong?”

Kaneki didn’t answer right away. He began to feel somewhat flustered for what he was about to ask the black haired boy. Before he could change his mind, he took a deep breath and turned around to face Ken.

“Can I…” he trailed off. Damn, why was it so hard?

Ken only looked at him disconcerted, waiting.

Beginning to feel embarrassed, Kaneki said the next words in a rush.

“Can I sleep with you again?”

 _Fuck_ , that didn’t sound good.

Ken didn’t answer instantly. Maybe he didn’t understand his rushed words; or worse, he was going to say no but didn’t know how to tell him. It was probably the latter, since Ken didn’t ask him to repeat the question.

Kaneki really was beginning to regret opening his mouth in the first place.

“You know what, just forget what I-”

“No, no!” Ken said, a little bit too high and then laughed awkwardly. “S-sorry, it just took me by surprise,” he said. “Of course you can.” Kaneki stared at him intently, and it wasn’t until then –thanks to the low light- that he noticed that a whole new wave of blush had settled on Ken’s cheeks. He was flustered too. It was actually cute.

He cleared his throat.

“Thanks,” Kaneki smiled.

“Not a problem. So which room? Mine or yours?”

“Uh…” Kaneki hadn’t thought of that, to be honest. Nevertheless, Ken answered his own question seconds later.

“I think it would be better to sleep in your room. I have to get up early tomorrow and I have all my things in my room, and I wouldn’t like to wake you up.”

“You worry too much,” Kaneki laughed, but headed towards his bedroom.

* * *

 

Moments later, they were side to side on the bed.

Ken was already sleeping, unlike Kaneki, who had been still wide awake for at least ten good minutes, trying to decide if he should or he shouldn’t.

_Ahh, fuck it._

He rolled onto his side and hesitantly placed an arm over the slightly smaller boy’s frame, hugging his waist beneath the covers. Slowly, Kaneki pulled him to his chest, careful to not wake him up. Ken didn’t, but he did emit a pleased sound and leaned back against him even more.

For some reason, Ken hadn’t asked the reason of his sudden request. But it was simply because he hadn’t had nightmares when he’d slept with him.

There was another reason, though.

Both a thought and realization that had settled in his mind time ago, only to be intensified by last night’s events.

Something that had tried to deny, without luck.

It was infinitely wrong, for a lot of reasons, to feel this way. But it was too late; too late to just ignore the feelings that were increasing day by day; too late to just pretend nothing had changed.

And things  _had_ definitely changed.

Because Kaneki liked him.

He liked Ken, his own self.

He liked him a lot.

_I’m so screwed._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> (I really didn't know how to name this chapter, not really next day but ehh sorry ;-; )
> 
> 1) I'm going to be honest, I'd already decided to give up on this fic because I wasn't satisfied/happy with my writing, but then I started writing this chapter and after so much dilemma I considered to continue. I thought "people seem to like it, then why not?" and now, almost a month later I come here and I see such sweet and nice messages on the previous chapter and I honestly want to cry ;___; you have no idea how much this means to me because I'm really insecure about everything. And to see people actually saying they love this fic makes me incredibly happy. Thank you. 
> 
> 2) I'm so sorry about the punctuation mistakes on the previous chapters. I already fixed them so it should be okay now.
> 
> 3) The next chapter is almost done, so it should be up within the next days! 
> 
> Thank you so much for reading <33


	6. Certainty

_Only one more hour,_ Ken thought, trying to pay attention to whatever the teacher was saying.

Time had gone by since Ken found out Kaneki was a ghoul. Much to his surprise, everything had gone back to normal pretty quickly. Or at least, _almost_ everything.

Ken didn’t know where this anxiety of returning home as soon as possible to see Kaneki was coming from. _And it’s only getting worse,_ he admitted as he kept twirling a pen between his fingers.

He wasn’t entirely sure about the reason; the only thing he knew was that he wanted to see Kaneki soon.

Ken sighed, resting his head on his palm, mind wandering.

Since that time Kaneki had asked him if they could sleep together and he’d agreed, they haven’t stopped doing it. It became sort of an automatic routine. After that, they had unquestionably continued doing it. Ken would often wake up to the cozy feeling of being surrounded by strong arms, pressed to Kaneki’s body, and small, warm puffs of breath hitting lightly the nape of his neck. Other times, however, Ken would be the one with his arms around the white haired boy, clinging to him.

Ken would be lying if he said his favorite part of the day wasn’t the night. Not to mention, he was also relieved that Kaneki hadn’t suffered from nightmares ever since.

And this brought to surface something that had been on his mind lately: just what sort of relationship he had with Kaneki? It wasn’t normal to feel so flustered and agitated every time he was near him, especially when Kaneki looked directly into his eyes; to blush so shamefully easy when he was around him, or when Kaneki stared at him. Sometimes Ken was studying or preparing dinner and would feel Kaneki’s unwavering gaze fixed on him. He always felt too self-conscious.

And of course, how they fell asleep in each other’s arms every single night.

Whatever it was, Ken didn’t want it to end.

* * *

 

“You sure were spacing out during the whole class, huh?” Hide mentioned as they were stepping out of the main building. “Do you feel well?”

“Eh?” Ken answered, still distracted. “Oh, yeah, sorry. I just got a few things on my mind, that’s all.”

“I could tell,” he laughed. “You’ve been doing it lately, though. Are you sure there isn’t something that’s bothering you?”

“No, not at all. Sorry for worrying you Hide.” There was actually _something_ bothering him, but Ken couldn’t tell Hide about it or who the reason behind his distraction was.

Ken gave him a small smile to reassure him.

“Okay then,” Hide didn’t sound too convinced. “By the way, how’s Kaneki doing? I haven’t seen him in a while.”

The mention of the half-ghoul caught Ken off guard.

“K-Kaneki? He’s been doing well. We still haven’t had any luck about the reason or how he ended up here,” Ken replied.

“He must be really desperate... At least I would be, if that kind of thing happened to me,” Hide muttered, looking up at the sky.

“Yeah…” But the truth was that Kaneki actually seemed pretty relaxed about it? He still went around the ward to see if he found anything new. But over the time, he had been doing it fewer and fewer times.

When they were out of the campus, Ken started walking in direction to his apartment.

“See you tomorrow, Hide.” He waved at him.

“Ha, still distracted, aren’t you?” Hide was looking at him as if he’d already decided he was a lost cause. Ken didn’t say anything and only looked back at him, clueless. “Really? I can’t believe you actually forgot it’s finally the start of vacation? Summer vacation? Do you even know in which month we are?” Ken opened his mouth to speak but Hide cut him off. “Wait, don’t answer that, you probably don’t.” He grinned, teasing him.

Before Ken could finally retort something back, Hide slipped an arm around his shoulders. “Come on, let’s go see what Kaneki has to say about this,” he said brightly, dragging a very disconcerted Ken along with him.

* * *

 

“Kaneki, I’m back,” Ken called out when they stepped into the apartment. Hide was behind him taking off his shoes.

Kaneki emerged from his room a few seconds later, blinking slowly and running a hand through a hairstyle that could only be described as a bedhead, as it was sticking out in different directions. He had been most likely taking a nap.

Ken thought it looked adorable, though he fought the urge to walk over to him and smooth it down.

“Hey there,” Kaneki greeted them both. He didn’t seem surprised to see Hide; he’d probably become aware of his presence the moment they stepped in. It was still hard for Ken to get used to Kaneki’s inhuman senses.

Ken didn’t even try to stop the smile that had started to spread on his lips upon finally seeing Kaneki. He felt his heart stop when Kaneki returned it, smiling openly at him; a smile that lit up his entire face.

And there it was again, that same funny feeling in his stomach; a feeling that had developed for quite some time now.

Only because movement caught his attention from the corner of his eye, Ken tore his eyes away from the half-ghoul and turned his head. Hide was looking at him with a weird expression; an eyebrow was raised in a silence question. Ken couldn’t believe when his expression shifted, as if realization had dawned on him, _and_ _was that a sly grin on Hide’s face?_

Ken coughed, feeling flustered.

Kaneki was looking at them both just slightly puzzled.

“Anyway,” Hide said, still smiling, “I hope I’m not intruding.” That damn grin wasn’t leaving his face. “I hadn’t seen you in such a long time Kaneki, so I thought ‘today is a great day to visit my best friend from the future!’” he said, laughing.

Kaneki rolled his eyes, but either way he smiled and gave Hide a brief hug. “You’re not intruding at all, Hide.”

Ken felt a flicker of…

He stopped. What was with him and his emotions today?

“I’m going to see what’s left to make something for dinner,” he told them abruptly. Ignoring the feelings within him, he headed to the kitchen. He needed to go shopping soon; maybe Kaneki could go with him.

“Oh, I’ll help you!” Hide offered, following him.

“Me too.” Ken was surprised to hear Kaneki’s voice as well. Even if he would sometimes help him with dinner, it wasn’t an everyday thing. It must be tough for him to be in contact with human food; he neither needed it anymore nor could stand it.

Both of them followed behind.

* * *

 

In the end, they had to order food.

Ken had been embarrassed when they discovered there was almost nothing in the fridge besides some strawberries (who actually has strawberries but nothing else?) and some other useless ingredients they couldn’t use for dinner; and the few food that what was left had irremediably expired since days ago. He really needed to pay more attention to this kind of thing. Sometimes, whenever he went to buy groceries, he would –unconsciously- also count Kaneki and buy more food than the necessary.

Hide had assured him it didn’t matter, but then he’d thrown his head back and let out a loud laugh that betrayed his words of comfort. Ken had smacked his shoulder with heated cheeks.

But the reason for what they both were staring in awe for at least twenty minutes already, was Kaneki.

The white haired boy hadn’t said anything the whole time. Instead, he’d been searching through the cabinets with a serious expression, only interrupted by a pleased smile whenever he found what he was looking for.

One moment he was fluttering around the small kitchen opening and closing the fridge and cabinets looking for ingredients: flour, eggs –luckily, there were still a few-, vanilla, milk, sugar, butter and the strawberries, setting them all on the counter. And the next moment he was mixing and whisking them together in a bowl. It was clear he was baking something.

Kaneki never hesitated or bothered to look at a recipe; it was like he knew exactly what he was doing. He was working smoothly, not seeming uncomfortable about the fact that two pairs of eyes were staring fixedly at him.

Ken almost jumped when the bell rang, shattering the silence.

“It must be the pizza. I’ll go!” Hide said and disappeared from the kitchen.

Ken approached Kaneki, who was now pouring the batter into a small recipient.

“What are you baking?” he asked, in wonder.

“Strawberry shortcake,” Kaneki answered, turning his face to smile at him. “I got the idea when I saw the strawberries.”

“Well, I bet it’s gonna taste delicious,” Ken replied.

“Hopefully. And you better not lie to me, remember I can’t taste normal food,” he said in a low voice. “If you do, I’ll know,” he said simply. “I still need the whipped cream, I’ll go get it. We’re lucky there’s a store near here.” He put the recipient in the oven.

“Do you want me to go with you?”

“No, it’s fine. It’ll be quick. But, can you watch over the cake while I’m gone?” Kaneki asked him. “It should be done in about twenty five minutes. I won’t be gone for too long, though.”

“Sure, don’t worry.”

“Thanks,” he said, and when he was passing next to him, Kaneki gave him a hasty, yet soft kiss on his cheek. And then he was gone.

Ken mentally thanked all gods above there wasn’t anyone there to see how flushed his face was in that moment. Speaking of which, where has Hide?

His question answered itself when he heard someone clearing his throat behind him, making him jolt in surprise. Hide was leaning against the door frame watching him expectantly.

“So?” Hide inquired and raised both eyebrows this time.

“So?” Ken repeated. “So what?” He was confused.

“When were you planning on telling me you had that kind of relationship with Kaneki?” Hide looked serious, but there was genuine curiosity in his voice.

“W-What are you talking about?” Ken cringed internally at the shakiness of his voice.

“Oh, come on man! You can’t be serious,” Hide snorted and then a wide, mischievous grin was plastered on his face. “I’ve been here for less than two hours and I’ve seen enough.”

“I really don’t know what-”

Hide laughed, probably at the look of perplexity Ken knew he had on his face. “You’re so dense Ken, I swear to god,” he said, shaking his head. “Okay, since you _apparently_ don’t know, I’ll tell you. You two _really_ like each other, am I right?”

Ken felt his blood run cold.

“W-What? You’re wrong, Hide-” Ken began to say, but he was very well aware he was lying. He always knew the reason of his behavior around Kaneki. Unconsciously, he never acknowledged it. But now that Hide had said the words, it was painfully clear.

He liked Kaneki.

He liked him so much it was making him crazy.

It wasn’t worth trying to lie to Hide; he was too smart and observant to actually make him believe he’d gotten it wrong.

Ken let out a sigh, feeling defeated.

“Is it that obvious?”

“What? Are you asking me if it’s obvious? Oh nonono, of course not. Not at all,” Hide shook his head vehemently.

“Hide! I’m serious. Kaneki must never know about any of this,” Ken said alarmed. “It would be a disaster if he knew how I really feel about him.”

“Huh? Didn’t you hear what I said moments ago? My friend, you’re not the only one. That guy has the hots for you too.”

Ken felt blood rush to his cheeks in response to Hide’s choice of words.

“That can’t be true. Now you’re completely mistak-”

“Oh my god, Ken,” Hide raised his arms towards the ceiling, in a desperate manner. “Believe me when I tell you this. I mean, that little exchange you had when we arrived? It seemed like you two were eating each other with the eyes. It was like you hadn’t seen each other in ages when it was actually just for a few hours? And of course you didn’t notice but Kaneki was staring at you so affectionately the entire time, or at least whenever you weren’t looking in his direction. Really, I thought I needed to leave the room already. But what takes the cake happened only a few minutes ago, when he was heading to the door,” Hide chuckled. “I’d never seen Kaneki with such an expression on his face before, his face was so red it was actually kinda worrying. And then I came here and you were blushing too. So? Are you going to tell me what happened?” Ken didn’t like the look Hide was giving him.

“It was nothing, he just… he just kissed…”

“ _What?_ He kissed you? Already?!” Hide’s grin was so annoyingly bright.

“No no! Of course not. My cheek. He kissed my cheek,” Ken admitted sheepishly.

“Wow, you’re both so adorable,” he said with a charming, mocking look.

Ken glared at him, half-jokingly.

“Don’t you think it’s weird?” Ken asked him quietly after a short pause, leaning against the counter. “I mean, he’s me. We’re the exact same person, just from different timelines. When you think about it, it’s extremely weird and… wrong.”

When Hide didn’t answer outright, Ken moved his eyes to him. The blond actually looked thoughtful and serious for the first time.

Finally, Hide’s voice filled the silence.

“Does it feel wrong, Ken?” Hide answered with a question of his own. “I already know you _think_ it’s wrong or weird, but when you stop and consider your feelings for Kaneki, do you actually _feel_ they’re wrong?”

Ken took the time to ponder what Hide was questioning him.

“No,” he finally said. “No, I don’t.” Since a long time ago he’d stopped seeing Kaneki as the same person as him. Yeah, they shared memories, physical appearance, traits, _everything._ But in reality, Kaneki was like a different version of him, ghoul thing aside, he’d changed; and not only outside but mostly inside. He thought of the other boy as another being, someone _different_ to him to some extent.

“Then?” Hide inquired with a small smile. “I don’t see what the problem is. You’re not harming anyone Ken, and it isn’t bad to have those kinds of feelings. I actually think you’ve been looking really happy all the time Kaneki’s been here.”

“Thanks. Thanks, Hide,” Ken said, feeling incredibly grateful.

“Anytime,” Hide responded, lips still curled up. Then his nose seemed to pick up something because he asked, “isn’t something burning?”

He was right. It smelled like…

_Oh my god, the cake!_

Ken rushed to the oven and turned it off. 

 _Kaneki is going to kill me_ , he thought as he measured the damage. The surface of the cake was burned, it didn’t look that bad but still, Kaneki had asked him to take care of it.

Right in that moment they both heard the front door shut and Kaneki appeared before them, with a small bag in his hand. He stopped under the door frame, staring at his and Hide’s guilty faces. His nose was already sniffing the air.

“It got burned, right?” was all he said, and to their surprise, he smiled.

* * *

After Kaneki finished the last details with the whipped cream and the strawberries, Hide had suggested watching a movie; they had needed to reheat the pizza.

When the cake had had enough time to cool in the fridge, Kaneki went to retrieve it.

And it looked pretty good.

To Ken’s amazement, it not only looked but also tasted really good. He sighed joyfully, letting the fresh strawberries, creamy texture and sweet vanilla flavor melt on his tongue. He’d never been a fan of sweets but the cake was unexpectedly delicious, even more considering it overbaked. Ken didn’t know how Kaneki managed to do it.

He glanced at Hide, who had the same delighted expression.

 “Judging by the look on your faces, then it’s safe to assume it’s good?” As expected, Kaneki hadn’t eaten a single thing, with the excuse that he wasn’t hungry. This made Ken wonder about when Kaneki would tell everything to Hide.

“It is. It’s great,” Ken answered smiling.

Hide was too busy cutting another slice. “Yep, what he said. This thing is heavenly,” he said, mouth full. “I didn’t know you could bake.” He looked at them both.

 _Neither do I_ , Ken thought, glancing over at Kaneki.

The white haired boy only shrugged. “I’m glad you liked it.”

“Well guys, I gotta go. It’s getting really late,” Hide announced after a moment, and stood up. He started lifting the plates from the table.

“Don’t worry, Hide. I’ll clean it up,” Ken said.

“At least let me take them to the sink.” And with that, he headed to the kitchen.

Ken followed after him.

“Is everything alright?” he asked Hide. He’d said it was really late already but it was barely 8 pm.

Hide chuckled. “Of course. I’m helping you out here. Don’t tell me you don’t want to be alone with Kaneki? After all, you haven’t all day,” he whispered.

Ken blushed, partially worried that Kaneki, with his improved hearing sense, could make out Hide’s words.

“See?” Hide said, reading Ken’s expression, and walked to the front door.

Ken trailed behind him and saw that Kaneki was already there.

Hide made a pause to put on his shoes before opening the door. He looked back at them. “Well, I’ll see you guys later. Thank you for the cake!” he said cheerfully.

“No problem,” Kaneki smiled.

Hide then shifted his eyes to Ken and winked, _he actually winked,_ in a way so Kaneki couldn’t see.

He laughed out loud at the indignant look on his face and closed the door.

Well, he was gone.

And now he was alone, alone with Kaneki. The thought made him slightly nervous.

“I’m going to wash the dishes,” Ken told him.

“I’ll help you.”

Ken stood before the sink and started washing them, alone with his thoughts while Kaneki went to bring back a few that were left in the living room.

The moment Hide had made him realize his feelings for Kaneki, he’d been kind of dreading to be alone with him. He was starting to feel too tense, too nervous, just by being in the same room as him. He really needed to collect himself.

Of course, his body decided the opposite as he flinched when Kaneki suddenly appeared within his range of vision and set the cups down in the sink, next to him. He’d been too startled that he didn’t register the sharp pain coming from his index finger until a few seconds later. He glanced down and saw a cut on his finger, blood gathering rapidly; he’d been holding the knife they used to cut the cake. _Great._

Kaneki had already stepped away but somehow, _just somehow_ , Ken knew he’d perceived the smell of his blood; he felt him tense behind him. _I’m so stupid._ His suspicion was confirmed when all of sudden Kaneki was next to him again, holding his finger up to the level of his eyes.

“Are you okay? You should be more careful, this isn’t a small cut,” he said worried, but there was a hint of restraint in his voice.

Ken turned off the faucet and whirled around to face him.

“I’m okay. I’m sorr-” he broke off.

There was hunger in Kaneki’s expression, hunger along with that forced calmness he’d distinguished in his voice before.

Ken didn’t know what he was thinking, or maybe he wasn’t thinking at all when he blatantly brought his finger closer to Kaneki’s mouth, which was still held by one of his hands.

“Go ahead. You can do it,” his own voice sounded strange in his ears, distant. “I want you to.”

Kaneki’s eyes widened fractionally, and hesitated.

But not for long.

Ken let out a breath softly through slightly parted lips when he felt Kaneki’s warm tongue lapping up the blood from his wound, slowly and still with a little bit of that hesitation.

Then it changed; his pace changed without warning.

Kaneki was now licking his finger more urgently, as if he couldn’t get enough of it, and probably that was the case because then he was actually sucking his finger; sucking as much blood as he could get from the injury, making Ken gasp. A low, hoarse groan came from Kaneki’s throat instantly, hopelessly turning Ken on even more.

All this time Kaneki had had his eyes closed, but then he opened them and stared back at him. Ken caught a glimpse of both desire and yearn in them, noting that his ghoul eye had already turned. He resisted the urge to moan at the sight and the wet noises Kaneki was making.

And then it was over. 

Ken didn’t have time to miss his touch, because in the next second, arms were around him and Ken almost yelped when Kaneki easily lifted him off the floor and placed him on the counter. He immediately wrapped his legs around him. It was too late and he was too excited to be ashamed for his actions.

Kaneki was taken by surprise for a short moment. He smiled, staring into his eyes before his gaze dropped to his lips. Heart pounding like it hadn’t in a long time, Ken closed his eyes as Kaneki leaned in, closing the gap between them.

Their noses bumped lightly when Kaneki slid his warm, a little bit dry lips over his, shyly and uncertain at first, but then, the kiss changed as he was gaining more confidence. Kaneki pressed his lips on his own, harder this time, and moved them against his.

A wave of butterflies fluttered violently in his stomach.

Kaneki was _kissing him_.

This was really happening.

Ken relaxed into his touch and kissed him back.

He wrapped his legs around his waist even more tightly and curled his arms around his neck, bringing the half-ghoul closer. Kaneki emitted a low sound from the back of his throat and snaked his arms around Ken’s body; the kiss growing more and more insistent. Kaneki traced his bottom lip with his tongue before biting it down gently, making the dark haired boy moan softly and arch against him.

In some place of his clouded mind, Ken faintly recalled Hide’s question from earlier.

 _This_ didn’t feel wrong at all.

This felt so natural, this felt so _amazing_ Ken didn’t remember being this pleased and so sure of something in his whole life.

Ken could discern the taste of blood, _his blood_ , on Kaneki’s lips but that didn’t bother him in the slightest, quite the opposite, it was actually kind of hot. He sighed against his lips one last time before pulling away.  

They stared at each other; face flushed, lips reddened and breathing hard. Kaneki took the opportunity to press another kiss, this time on his neck. Ken trembled and tilted his head up to give him more space.

“Hmmm, I like you,” he heard Kaneki whisper, hot breath ghosting over the skin of his neck.

Ken’s heart leapt against his ribs at Kaneki’s words.

He hadn’t really believed Hide before, when the blond had assured him Kaneki felt the same for him; but right then, after what just transpired between them and along with Kaneki’s confession, he felt a strange mix of dizziness and happiness. Kaneki _liked_ him. The white haired boy actually returned his feelings.

He sighed blissfully and buried his hands in Kaneki’s pale hair, clutching it, careful to not hurt his already injured finger further. “I like you too,” he answered breathless.

He felt Kaneki smile against his skin.

* * *

“By the way Kaneki, I’ve been meaning to ask you, how is it that you know how to bake?” Ken asked him, a little bit sleepily.

They were lying on the bed, facing each other. Kaneki was holding his hand, the one with the injured –and now bandaged- finger, delineating invisible patterns across it with a slender finger.

“Remember that time when I mentioned I worked at a coffee shop for a short time?”

“Hmm,” he answered lazily, trying to remember, then the memory came back to him. “Yeah, now I _do_ remember. It was also the time when you made fun of me because of the coffee,” Ken frowned at him.

Kaneki laughed softly.

“Now, now, I was only joking, don’t look at me like that,” he smiled innocently. “Well, along with having to learn to brew coffee, I also learned how to bake a few types of cakes, and that’s why.”

“Oh, I see, that makes sense. For a moment I thought becoming a ghoul had automatically granted you the gift of baking,” he regretted the lame joke the moment it left his lips; he went too far. He was about to apologize, but in the blink of an eye Kaneki was on top of him, straddling his thighs.

“You’re gonna pay for that,” he stated, his words seemingly serious but a smile was tugging at his lips; they were trembling a little, as though he was trying to hold his laughter back. And then he gave in. He laughed. Kaneki was actually _laughing_.

Ken didn’t answer right away. He was too busy marveling at Kaneki’s lively smile, the rich sound of his laugh and the playful glint in his eyes when he looked down at him. He looked so different; he _was_ so different in comparison to those first days, even weeks, after their first encounter, when he used to look so somber and dejected most of the time. Call him narcissistic or something along those lines, but right then Ken thought the other boy looked absolutely beautiful. His breath caught.

“Ken?” Kaneki’s smile weakened.

“Hey,” he stared up at him, holding his gaze, “kiss me.”

He’d said it without hesitation and so forthright, even Ken was slightly taken aback at his own words. Nevertheless, he welcomed this sudden rush of boldness.

Kaneki blushed at the request, but he complied. He closed his eyes and leaned down on him, capturing Ken’s lips between his own. He nibbled softly at his lower lip and drew back a bit. Ken exhaled happily and ran his hands through Kaneki’s silky white locks. Kaneki was propping himself up on his hands, one to each side of Ken’s head, so he didn’t crush him under his weight.

But Ken was having none of that. He wanted to feel him a lot more.

Hands still tangled in his hair, Ken pulled the half-ghoul closer, until there was no space between their bodies and this time he was the one who started the kiss, sliding his tongue timidly across his bottom lip, just like Kaneki had done earlier.

Being both inexperienced didn’t hold Kaneki back into touching Ken’s lips with the tip of his tongue, asking for permission. Ken didn’t waste any time and parted his lips for him. Kaneki shoved his tongue inside, entwining it with his. Ken gasped into his mouth.

Ken was conscious the kiss was turning more and more heated as each second passed, but he didn’t want to stop. He inevitably did though, when Kaneki made an abrupt move that brushed his crotch, making his head fell back against the pillow and let out a moan. Kaneki’s reaction was immediate, as he felt him straightening before he pressed his own groin onto his growing hardness and repeated the motion. It wasn’t long before Kaneki started to rock his hips against his relentlessly. The fact that they were both only dressed in a shirt and boxers was making the friction even more overwhelming. Moans were now spilling freely from their lips.

Ken fluttered his eyes open and almost lost his mind to the sight of Kaneki above him. He was still moving, rubbing their clothed dicks together. His face was flushed, his eyes shut and his breath was coming in short pants through swollen lips, the look of pleasure never leaving his face. Kaneki must have felt his gaze on him because he suddenly was staring down at him with half-lidded eyes. He bent down to kiss him one more time-

A high-pitched noise resounded in the room startling them both.

It took Ken a moment to identify the sound as an incoming text in his phone. He was really going to kill Hide the next time he saw him. Although, deep down he was also relieved about the interruption; things were going too fast. 

Kaneki apparently had the same thought because he tilted his head down and whispered into his ear, “I think we should… take it easy,” he was breathless.

“Y-Yeah,” Ken agreed, equally out of breath.

They stayed like that for a while, recovering their breath and letting their bodies cool down, otherwise Ken would really need to make a brief trip to the bathroom. He laughed lowly.

Kaneki rolled off him. “What are you laughing at?” he asked amused, poking his stomach.

“Nothing. It’s just that… wow,” Ken said, dazzled.

Now it was Kaneki’s turn to laugh.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm slowly descending into Kanekicest hell :^) 
> 
> So yep, rating finally went up heee (I should probably change it to explicit already... I'm going to hell). I think this is the longest chapter I've written so far? Also, ik this wasn't very smutty but it's the first time I actually write kisses and smut and ehh I hope it wasn't that bad.
> 
> Btw, I changed the previous chapter's title because I want to keep "one word" titles, so yeah...
> 
> Thanks for reading and all the lovely comments ;w;!!!


	7. Anteiku

Last night still felt like a dream.

A really good dream at that.

Though it was true that Kaneki had promised to himself that it was for the best to keep his feelings for the dark haired boy hidden and buried within him, given that suppress, deny or try to ignore them had all been in vain. But as each day, as each week passed, it became a harder and harder task to keep up with.

But he really had it bad since the beginning; whenever Ken laughed, free of worries, or held his gaze with those big gray eyes, so full of innocence, the fierce desire to protect that purity would strike him once again.

But there was more to it.

Those little kinds of things, such as the way Ken looked at him, whenever he touched his hand or even when he smiled would elicit every kind of reaction in his body. Since long ago, he’d given up into trying to control his heart rate or the flush of blood on his face.

What he should be doing is try to find a way to go back to his own timeline or even find out who was responsible for this, but instead here he was developing romantic feelings for his old self. When you put it like that, it really sounded awfully weird. Not to say, impossible.

_How did things even end up like this? We’re the same person, for God’s sake._

Truly, his poor attempt into hiding his feelings for Ken went straight down the drain in less than five minutes last night. _Good job, Kaneki._

Still, Kaneki was still in a daze over what happened. Not only he’d expressed out loud his feelings for Ken _to him_ , but he’d also kissed him. Worse, not even in that order. But when the scent of fresh blood had reached his nose, so penetrating and so intoxicating in that small space, he knew he was in deep trouble.

Of course, he couldn’t hide his evident hunger from Ken.

 He tried, he really tried to contain himself, and he would probably had succeeded, if Ken hadn’t brought his bleeding finger right in front of his mouth; a sudden action  that made every tiny bit of restraint leave his body at once. His self-control was shattered when he gave a tentative lick to his injured finger, collecting the blood on his tongue, letting his taste buds relish on the incredible flavor. Nothing had compared to it. Absolutely nothing. That ghoul he’d fed off time ago and which had provided him a temporarily sensation of satiety, now felt so vapid and stale. It was true that it had been so long since he’d had a taste of human blood, but he didn’t remember it to be absolutely delectable.

It had felt so sweet, so warm, and so glorious even now he still shuddered whenever he recalled it.

Everything that happened afterwards was a blur.

Self-control gone and still sucking on Ken’s finger, the need to sink his teeth into his flesh and take a small bite was increasing at an alarming pace, but one look at the brunet’s face and Kaneki was completely done for. That look was still imprinted on his mind: the heavy blush on his face, the subtle shine of arousal in his eyes and the soft breathing leaving through his partially opened lips; those pink, soft looking lips, had incited an entirely different crave in him.

Blood forgotten, the desire to feel Ken’s lips on his had been far greater.

And with that new resolution, he’d claimed those lips with his own.

The fervor with which Ken had returned the kiss was something he honestly wasn’t expecting, and had finally pushed him to say the words, the words that had been resting on the tip of his tongue, threatening to leave his lips in any moment. Words that Ken had said back to him without hesitation.

It was wrong.

That’s what he’d once thought.

Because right then, and still unable to keep the stupid smile away from his face, he found that he didn’t regret any single thing.

* * *

 

“I swear I’m gonna grow old and die on this very spot,” Kaneki groaned from the bed.

Ken laughed from across the room. “Don’t be such a baby, I’m almost done. I just need to… ah, here it is.”

Kaneki turned his head to see the reason he’d been waiting for Ken to be ready for twenty minutes already. The dark haired boy was standing in front of the closet holding a… sweater? A cardigan, to be more exact.

“Really? A sweater?”

“This is one of my favorite cardigans, but you should know that,” he answered, ignoring the incredulous look Kaneki was shooting him. “I felt like wearing it today.”

It was currently august, why Ken had decided to wear a sweater in the middle of summer was beyond him.

“Besides, are you seeing the sky? It’s probably going to rain today,” Ken added, as if reading his thoughts.

 _You could just use an umbrella_ , Kaneki was about to say but stopped. Now that he thought about it, he really used to wear sweaters all the time, no matter the weather.

“If you say so,” he said instead, jumping off the bed. He walked over to where the other boy was standing, almost done with buttoning up the damn sweater. He wrapped his arms around his thin waist without a second thought. Ken stiffened for a second and relaxed against him. Even if this was relatively new to both of them, Kaneki wasn’t over how normal this felt.

“Can we go now?” he mumbled against his neck.

Kaneki felt him shiver in his arms slightly as he nodded wordlessly.

* * *

 

“So they were the people who helped you after you turned into a ghoul?” Ken said the last words in a small voice.

“Um-hum,” Kaneki hummed in affirmation.

A few days ago, after _that_ happened –really, how he should even call it-, Ken had asked the name of the coffee shop he worked at. Kaneki saw a glimmer of recognition in Ken’s eyes when he’d answered. Surely he knew about Anteiku. He and Hide went there a few times way before he’d seen Rize for the first time.

That’s where they were heading now. Though it had taken a ridiculous amount of time to convince Ken and assure him it was fine with him to go. Sure, not being recognized by any of his friends wasn’t the greatest thing in the world, but he couldn’t keep running away from it. And it was the truth.

“They’re really good people. Being with them made me realize ghouls are just like humans, in a lot of ways… They helped me so much the first days, when I thought I was alone in this. I really don’t know what I would have done without them,” he answered honestly as they kept walking in direction to Anteiku.

Kaneki felt the other boy’s hand brushing his just barely. He turned to him and Ken gave him a comforting smile.

“Even if they don’t know you in this timeline, you know you still aren’t alone, right?” Ken emphasized this by holding his hand, interlacing their fingers together. He gave them a light squeeze.

Kaneki brought their linked fingers to his mouth and kissed the back of Ken’s hand, just a light touch of his lips. “I know.”

* * *

 

It was only afternoon when Anteiku came into view, though due to the cloudy sky, it seemed like it was a lot later. Kaneki really hoped it wouldn’t rain.

Even from afar, his nose caught on the characteristic, rich smell of Anteiku’s coffee; the aroma getting stronger as they were nearing the coffee shop. When they reached it, Kaneki took one last long breath and felt another reassuring squeeze in his hand from Ken. He pushed the door open, bell tinkling in the process.

An immense wave of nostalgia hit him right away. He closed his eyes momentarily, inhaling deeply the smell of freshly brewed coffee.

Anteiku was just like he remembered it: customers chatting joyfully while drinking their coffee and the same relaxing, peaceful air in the atmosphere. He saw Irimi behind the counter. She was talking with a customer and Koma was next to her, drying cups and glasses with a rag. Kaneki felt a lump in his throat upon seeing them. However, he noted that Yoshimura was out of sight.

Kaneki immediately spotted Touka. She was taking the order from a couple sitting at one of the last tables next to the window. It wasn’t the first time he’d seen her in this timeline, but it did was the first time he saw her up close. She was smiling.

“Do you know her?” Ken asked, following the line of his sight. “Ah, I remember her, I always see her when I come here with Hide. He definitely has a crush on her,” he chuckled under his breath. “Well, I don’t blame him. She is pretty and seems sweet.”

_Sweet._

Sweet wasn’t exactly the best word to describe Touka; she was fierce, she was passionate. And that was something Kaneki had always admired from her, even if sometimes that, along with her impulsivity, had brought her trouble. Although it was certainly true that he’d always thought Touka was pretty.

He didn’t have time to answer him, because the blue haired girl was now walking towards them.

“Welcome to Anteiku,” she greeted them, standing a few steps away, smiling politely. Right side of her face was hidden behind her hair, that hadn’t changed, but it was short, unlike the last time he saw her on that bridge. Her face was looking so much younger too.

Kaneki was a fool for thinking this was going to be easy; to be able to see her and his old friends again, with no trace of harsh words, hurt feelings and raw violence before them… He felt both sadness and happiness rising in his chest. He wanted to hug her, he wanted to apologize to her, but he couldn’t even find his voice. Thankfully, Ken seemed to notice that.

“Hi. Thank you,” Ken answered for him. Touka was watching them intently, but then her gaze focused solely on Kaneki. Her welcoming expression shifted almost imperceptibly; there was a look of slight bemusement on her face. She eyed the eyepatch covering his left eye, a silent question in her deep blue eyes. “We’re gonna find a table if that’s okay, excuse us,” the dark haired boy said when the silence was stretching out.

“Of course, I’ll go take your order in a minute.” With one last look at them she walked off.

“Let’s go,” fingers still entwined, Ken dragged him and made their way towards the only empty table left beside the window.

Ken let go of his hand and they sat down in front of each other.

“Are you alright?” his eyebrows were knitted in concern.

“I am. You don’t have to worry about me,” Kaneki replied. He leaned forward and touched Ken’s cheek with a finger. “Now wipe that worried look off your face.” He smiled.

“Okay,” he said, pink coloring his cheeks. “By the way, Kaneki? Did you see it? The change on her expression?” he asked in a low voice.

Kaneki was surprised the brunet also had noticed it. “Yeah.”

“What if it’s probably because… somehow she recognized you?”

“No, I don’t think that was the reason. Touka looked confused for a moment. I think it’s because of the way I smell to her. You see, humans and ghouls have very distinctive scents. Ghouls have the ability to identify them. Although, they always told me mine was strange, that it was neither human nor ghoul,” the corner of his lips curved up a little, remembering.

“Really?” Ken asked. Even though he was trying to not let it show, the look of fascination was still clear on his features. “Can you also do that?”

Across the place, Kaneki noticed that Touka whispered something to Irimi. He couldn’t figure out the words but then she looked in their direction for a moment. Luckily, he’d already averted his eyes. Kaneki returned his gaze to Ken.

“Differentiate ghouls from humans?” Kaneki shook his head and leaned back against the chair, crossing his arms over his chest. “For some reason, I still can’t. But I guess it’s because I’m not completely a ghoul.”

Ken seemed like he was about to say something else, but Touka suddenly appeared in front of them.

“I apologize for the delay. What can I bring you?” She was back to her welcoming smile.

Ken asked her for a cappuccino, and then Touka moved her eyes to Kaneki.

“Just black coffee.” Touka quirked her eyebrow, her expression turning wary. “Please,” Kaneki added.

“Noted. I’ll bring them in a moment.” She walked away.

“Do you think she knows?” Ken asked him, once she was out of hearing range.

“That I’m a ghoul? Unlikely. That something is up with me? Definitely,” he responded with an unconcerned smile.

“She’s really perceptive, isn’t she? I’ll be right back,” he said, standing up. “I’m gonna use the restroom.”

“Sure.”                          

Kaneki watched him go.

He was starting to feel at ease again.  Even if none of his old friends knew him, he was profoundly happy to see them again, alive and safe; living relatively in peace. He was glad they had decided to come.

The sound of the bells tinkling above the door, announcing the arrival of a new customer, pulled him out of his thoughts. He glanced at the door, distractedly.

Kaneki sucked abruptly in his breath.

_No way._

Standing at the entrance was someone he knew very well. How could he be able to forget her? It was the same long, silky violet hair. The same red-framed glasses.

_Rize._

Kaneki was in shock. And truthfully, he shouldn’t be. After all, hadn’t it been around this time when he had met Rize? All thanks to the book she’d been reading; the same book she was holding now in one of her hands.

He watched as Rize headed to the table across from theirs. He drew his gaze back. However, out of the corner of his eye he saw Touka approaching her and they exchanged a few words; she soon left. Carefully, he took another peek at her. She seemed too concentrated on her book, but Kaneki knew better. She was probably surveying the room, identifying possible, easy preys, just like he’d once been. Rize wasn’t called the binge eater for nothing.

Discreetly, Kaneki stared at her, but then something seemed to grab her attention, something good enough to make her eyes shine in obvious interest; she shifted in her seat. He turned to see what the reason was for the sudden change in her demeanor.

Kaneki froze.

It was Ken.

It was Ken who she was looking at.

The dark haired boy, who had just exited the area of the restrooms, and was walking towards their table didn’t give the impression to notice Rize or the conspicuous attention. Instead, Ken was looking at him with a small smile on his lips.

Kaneki briefly glanced back at Rize, even if she failed at catching Ken’s attention, she actually looked unfazed; she was too confident to give up this soon. Kaneki decided he needed to make things clear.

Leaning forward, he gently pulled Ken’s seat, moving it across the floor, so it was now next to his, with practically no space between them. When Ken reached the table, he was confused.

“Kaneki?”

“Come here for a sec,” he patted the chair beside him.

Despite his evident confusion, Ken obliged and sat down to his side, so close their thighs were touching. Kaneki knew Rize was watching them.

 _Not this time,_ he thought, and took hold of Ken’s chin, turning his head toward him and pulling him into a kiss. The other boy gasped, obviously taken by surprise but pretty quickly he melted into the kiss. Kaneki cupped his face with a hand and ran his thumb across his cheek. He blinked his uncovered eye open and peered at Rize; her confident smile was long gone by now. She shrugged to herself and returned her attention to her book. _I won._ Kaneki smiled against Ken’s lips as the raven haired boy deepened the kiss.

A somewhat annoyed clear of throat broke the kiss as both of them pulled back. It was Touka. Her eyebrow arched again, this time in reaction to the PDA. The gesture seemed to say “really?” And it was directed especially at him.

“Sorry for the interruption,” she said, though she didn’t look sorry at all. “Here are your drinks.” She placed the cappuccino and the coffee on the table.

Ken thanked her, his face was alarmingly red.

With a low huff, Touka turned to go.

Kaneki laughed at how red Ken’s face was, but he was sure his own face wasn’t spared from the rush of blood either. Ken stuck his tongue out to him, in such a childish way, Kaneki let out another small laugh and kissed him on the cheek.

He reached for his coffee and took a long sip. He’d really missed this.

“What was that?” Ken asked as he did the same with his cappuccino.

“Hmm? What are you talking about?”

“Kaneki.” He shot him a look.

“Alright, alright. See that girl, the one with purple hair?” he asked in a low voice, pointing at Rize subtly with his head.

Ken looked to where he was indicating. 

“Um, yes. But what about her?” he inquired, looking back at Rize again. “Oh, look, she’s reading the same book I’m now reading,” Ken said brightly.

“Yeah well, don’t be deceived by that or the sweet, interested smile, just like I once did.” Kaneki tried to not let the bitterness reflect in his words. 

Wide-eyed, Ken turned to him. “What? A-are you saying that’s…?”

“Yes, that’s Rize. I noticed she was staring at you when you were coming back,” he explained. He leaned closer to Ken, until his nose was nuzzling his hair. “That’s why I needed to show her you were no longer available. I think we did a good job, don’t you agree?” he whispered.

Ken almost choked on his cappuccino, pink blossoming over his face.

* * *

 

It was almost nightfall when they stepped out of Anteiku. Kaneki looked up at the sky. There were more clustered, dark clouds staining it; he could even see lighting flashing in the distance, illuminating the dull sky. It was going to start raining any moment now. He really started to regret not grabbing the umbrella on their way out.

“This is going to be a problem. We need to hurry,” he said to Ken next to him. “If it starts raining before we get home, how is your sweater gonna save us?” Kaneki grinned.

Ken rolled his eyes. “Okay okay, I admit we should’ve brought an umbrella. Let’s go.” He took Kaneki’s hand in one of his.

They stepped into the sidewalk, already running in direction to their apartment. A thunder blared in the sky. Shit, they weren’t going to make it. As soon as they turned in a corner, a drop fell on his face. _Great._ It soon started pouring, hard; Kaneki swore under his breath. The rain was dampening his clothes quickly, making the fabric stick uncomfortably to his skin.

“Ken.” Another thunder above them. He tried again. “Ken, we need to find a place to stay until the rain slows down.”

“But where?”

Kaneki looked around. The street was almost empty, and there weren’t many stores in the area. On the other side of the street, ahead of them, he spotted a store. There weren’t any lights on, meaning it was closed, but it had an awning big enough to offer shelter until the rain stopped.

He pulled Ken in that direction; water splashing off the ground as their footsteps pounded against the wet pavement.

Once they reached the store, they were already soaked; drops were steadily dripping down from their hair. If he knew this was going to happen, they should have stayed at Anteiku a little bit longer. Kaneki let out a sigh.

“This sucks,” Ken sighed too. “Well, now what?”

“Now we wait.”

Ken turned to look at him. “Your shirt is really wet,” he mentioned, touching it.  “You’re gonna catch a cold like that. Wait, do ghouls even get sick?”

“I’m not sure actually,” he smiled. “I don’t remember getting sick. But _you_ should take off your sweater. It doesn’t look like the shirt underneath received much damage,” he said, glancing at Ken’s clothes.

“You’re right.” Just then Kaneki noticed the other boy was shivering, as he started unbuttoning the cardigan with trembling fingers.

“You’re shivering.” He stated the obvious when Ken was done.

“Uh? Ah, I wasn’t even aware,” he gave a quavering laugh, looking up to meet his eyes.

Ken’s face was dampened, the water from his hair dripping onto the ground and gliding down his cheeks. Even in the dim light, he noticed his skin was incredibly pale, making his lips stand out in an inviting, tempting way.

Kaneki scooted closer to him. “Well, I know exactly how we can keep you warm in the mean time,” he murmured casually.

Ken’s gray eyes opened wide, drops glistening in his eyelashes, and within the next second they were kissing.

It happened so fast Kaneki was taken aback at Ken’s eagerness. Nevertheless, he moved forward until Ken’s back hit the wall behind him with a low gasp. Their moisten lips slid against each other’s smoothly, Ken’s hands were already pulling at his hair and then he buried them in it, always being careful with his still injured finger. His lips tasted faintly of coffee.

There was definitely something different about this kiss, Kaneki thought; in the desperate way they were clinging to each other, the hunger with they were invading each other’s mouth and how, despite being as close as they could be, with him having the dark haired boy pressed to the wall, Kaneki craved being closer to him, to feel every inch of Ken’s bare, warm skin against his. Fuck. He could feel himself getting worked up.

Dark or not, Kaneki was vaguely conscious they were in a public space and it wasn’t exactly right to do this out in the open, but _goddammit_ , he didn’t care in that moment. And there wasn’t anyone around anyway.

He was pulled out of his internal struggle when Ken released the grip in his hair and slipped both hands under his dampened shirt, making Kaneki gasp in surprise against his lips. He touched and caressed the skin of his abdomen, as if he was memorizing the shape of his muscles. He ran a hand across his scar; goosebumps spread across the skin there. But soon, Ken’s hands were impatient for more and he moved them upward, stopping on his chest to let his thumbs brush firmly against his hardened, sensitive nipples. _Holy shit._ Drawing back from the kiss, the action incited an involuntary moan from Kaneki and a chill of delight to run down his spine, causing more heat to pool in his lower half.

He opened his eyes abruptly and was met with Ken’s excited ones and a shy, teasing smile. Kaneki peered down at him and saw a noticeable tent showing through his pants. Hmph, now they were both hard and in public. At least the heavy rain around them had died down to a mere drizzle.

“You tease,” his voice sounded raspy.

Ken feigned innocence and bit back a laugh.

Kaneki shook his head, smiling, and took the brunet’s hand. “We should get out of here.”

He was grateful there weren’t a lot of people in the streets and it was dark already, but damn if it wasn’t uncomfortable and awkward to walk with an evident bulge between his legs. Didn’t a similar situation happen only a few days ago? If only this had happened within the privacy of their apartment… It was like they were fated to not finish what they started.

He exhaled heavily.

* * *

 

“You should shower first,” Kaneki told the other boy before a different set of words made their way through his lips. Something like “why don’t we shower together?” Hell, he needed to get a grip on himself.

“Are you sure? The rain affected you more.”

“Completely. Remember I don’t get sick easily, that if I actually do. You, on the other hand…Go ahead.”

“Okay. At least take those dampened clothes off.” And with that Ken went inside the bathroom, leaving the door slightly ajar.

Kaneki did as he was told and pulled his shirt off, unzipping his jeans and stepping out of them, staying in his boxers. His skin felt unbearably clammy, now that the water had dried. He paced around the room, unsure of what to do while he waited for Ken to finish.  

The memory of what happened earlier… having Ken’s body perfectly aligned with his, both of them painfully hard and then Ken touching his nipples like that was still very vivid in his mind. He’d wished they had been in a more private place, because _fuck_ , Kaneki wanted to touch him more, to feel him more. He didn’t want a single piece of clothing interposing between their bodies. He wanted to touch his bare skin, to pleasure him, to be _closer_ to him in a way no one else had.

Kaneki found himself in a conflict. He really, really, _really_ wanted to shower with Ken. And wasn’t it better to save water? His feet took him outside the bathroom. Even though the door wasn’t completely shut, he lifted a hand to knock, but he froze in mid-action.

Despite the sound of water running, Kaneki picked up the sound of _something else_.

Soft, constant pleasured low whimpers reached his ears.

Ken was...

Fucking. Hell.

The faint sounds were gradually changing into something more desperate and loud. Ken knew. Ken knew he would hear it; there was no way he would have left the door like that if he didn’t want him to listen. That realization along with the mental image of what Ken was doing right now just on the other side of the door filled him with lust. Kaneki felt himself getting hard again.

He mentally cursed. He should? He shouldn’t? It was obvious Ken had intended for him to know what he was doing, but… Was it an invitation? Just a little peek… If Ken shouts at him or something he’ll immediately leave.

As soon as Kaneki sneaked through the opening, he stopped short. The scene before him was something that not even in ten years he would be able to get out of his mind.

Ken’s slightly arched back was resting against the shower tiles, water drops were rolling down his skin; the light of the bathroom making it glisten.  There was a look of complete pleasure washing over his features, all the while moving the hand gripping his hard-on in a frantic pace. As if sensing his presence, Ken opened his eyes and turned his head to look at him; they were clouded with elation. Half expecting to be yelled at, Kaneki wondered what kind of face he was making because instead, Ken nodded slowly to him and that was all Kaneki needed to carry on. He took off his boxers, not even seeing where he threw them off, and joined him in the shower.

Ken’s lips were immediately on his, prodding them open with his tongue and soon, they were exploring each other’s mouths with urgency. Kaneki sucked his bottom lip between his, leaving it red and swollen. Hands on his torso, Ken smiled and tilted his head to start peppering kisses all the way from his jaw to his neck and collarbones in a loving manner. Kaneki closed his eyes, enjoying the sensation, before he curled an arm around the brunet’s waist to pull him towards him until their hard cocks touched. They moaned in unison.

Kaneki slipped a hand between their heated bodies and grabbed Ken’s cock firmly, letting his fingers run up and down his length nonstop. Ken squeezed shut his eyes, small, blissful sounds coming past his lips. Kaneki increased the pace of his hand and felt Ken hardening further beneath his touch; precum started to leak out of the tip. He ran his thumb over the slit, smearing what had already gathered. Ken threw his head back and moaned loudly. Kaneki almost moaned as well at the lewd sound, his own hardness desperately wanting attention.

He let go of Ken’s dick and placed his hands on his thighs, lifting him and making the dark haired boy wrap his legs around him and dig his fingernails into the skin of his back. Pressing him against the tiles, Kaneki started grinding against him, sliding their cocks together incessantly. With each roll of his hips, and Ken doing the same with his, he could feel himself getting closer. Groans and moans flooded the small room. He took Ken’s next moan in his mouth as he kissed him hungrily, licking and nibbling his lips, being careful to not draw blood.

Once again, Kaneki sneaked a hand between them, this time to stimulate both of their cocks at once. Ken cried out, making a sudden movement of his legs that brushed the area where his kagune came out, unconsciously rubbing it again and again. The unexpected, intense stimulation was too much. With one last, long, breathy moan he came all over his hand, staining both his and Ken’s chest and stomach. Ken whimpered in response and with Kaneki still stroking them together, it wasn’t long before the dark haired boy shuddered in his arms, finding his own release, feeling more warmth cover their bodies.

Panting harshly, Ken rested his head against his shoulder, trying to regain his breath. Kaneki’s arms were still holding the brunet’s body. He felt Ken pressing a soft kiss in his shoulder and then he drew back to meet his eyes.

“T-that… that felt really good,” he breathed out, a little bit shyly.

Kaneki grinned. “Y-yeah.”

“You can put me down. My legs are starting to feel numb,” Ken chuckled.

Oh shit, right. Perhaps he was also holding him too tight, and it might even leave marks on his skin… Somehow, that thought was unexpectedly arousing.

Kaneki lowered the other boy onto the floor carefully. Once his feet touched the ground, Ken turned towards the shower head to wash away the whitish liquid left on his stomach. It was absurd, but upon seeing that, the grasp of what they’d just done finally sank in. Kaneki blushed violently.

Ken reached for the bottle of shampoo and squeezed some of it on his hand. He looked at him. “Do you want me to wash your hai-” He stopped, his face slowly breaking into a wide grin.

“W-what?”

“Your face is so red!” Ken exclaimed with joy and suddenly he was laughing without restraint.

Kaneki stared at him. So he was taking revenge, he realized. Revenge for all the times he’d laughed at Ken’s blushing face and how easily it was for Ken to get flustered, which happened a lot more often than the other way around.

“You’re seriously going to regret that,” Kaneki said, laughing as well at the sound of Ken’s laugh and how childish they were acting.

He lunged at Ken, wrapping his arms around him, securing him and he didn’t hesitate. He started tickling his sides. Ken’s immediate reaction was so amusing; he was shaking of laughter in his arms, tears gathering in the corner of his tightly closed eyes, pleading him to stop.

“O-okay okay-y! I-i give up,” he said between never ending laughs. “My stomach is starting t-to hurt.”

Still laughing at his reaction, Kaneki complied and let him catch his breath.

“Now we’re even,” he announced satisfied.

“Eh? That’s unfair and you know it. This doesn’t even cover for all the times you’ve laughed. But only for this time, I’ll let it pass,” he said, feigning a solemn tone.

“Do I need to remind you who’s the vulnerable one in this situation?” He slowly moved his hands again.

“Oh no, don’t you dare. I already said you win,” Ken grabbed his hands, in apparent panic.

Kaneki chuckled and loosened his hold on him. “Alright, I can accept that. Now, didn’t you say you were going to wash my hair?”

Ken turned around to face him and rolled his eyes at him. He then turned the faucet off and placed himself behind Kaneki, pouring more shampoo on his hand. In slow, soothing movements he started washing his hair, burying his fingers within the white locks and massaging the scalp. Kaneki felt goosebumps all over his body. He closed his eyes.

“That feels good too,” he sighed contentedly, repeating the words Ken had said before.

He heard his soft laugh behind him.

* * *

 

“Kaneki?”

“Hmm?” Head resting on Ken’s lap, Kaneki blinked one eye open to look at the black haired boy above him. He was reading a book, brushing his hair absentmindedly with his fingers. It felt so relaxing Kaneki was about to fall asleep.

Ken closed the book after making sure to mark the page, and looked down at him.

“I had a good time today. It was fun,” he said, a smile appearing on his lips.

Kaneki had to agree with him. Memories of all the things that occurred that day crossed his mind. He got to see some of his old friends again and even speak to Touka, and he showed Rize he wasn’t going to fall in the same trap. Also, the moment they shared in front of that store, and of course, what happened in the shower…

“Me too,” he replied, feeling really happy in what felt like forever.

“You know, I was thinking… why don’t you work at Anteiku again?”

That was unexpected. Honestly, he hadn’t even considered that until now. Work at Anteiku again? It didn’t sound like a bad idea actually. He would get to be with his friends again and the work would distract him once Ken started classes again.

Then a thought struck him.

Wasn’t it because of him that Anteiku got targeted by the CCG?  Circumstances that had involved him and that had leaded them to Anteiku. All because of him. But then again, Rize wasn’t captured by Kanou in this timeline, therefore Banjou wouldn’t come to look for Rize and neither would Nico and Yamori. And so, he wouldn’t get kidnapped this time (or at least make sure he wouldn’t) and the manager and Anteiku would be away from the CCG’s eye… Kaneki was sure nothing bad would happen.

Ken misunderstood the lack of an answer. “But you don’t have to, I mean it was only a suggestion but it’s probably a terrible idea, I wasn’t thinking after all, I-”

Kaneki silenced, what he was sure would be an apology, by placing a single black-nailed finger over his lips. “I actually want to. It’s not a bad idea at all.” He smiled.

Ken grabbed the hand in front of his mouth. “Really?”

He nodded. “Yeah. I’ll ask Yoshimu- I mean the manager if they need more help.”

“I’m sure you will get the job,” Ken said with conviction, entwining his fingers with Kaneki’s.

“I hope so. And I think I’m ready to tell Hide about…” He forced his eye to turn.

Ken smiled reassuringly at him. “It will go okay. You don’t need to worry.”

He took a deep breath and nodded. “Also… does Hide know? About us?” Kaneki asked. Ken hadn’t said anything about that.

Ken looked away, scratching his head as though he was remembering or hiding something. “Not really. I haven’t told him.”

 _Not really_ , Kaneki wondered what exactly those two had been talking about.

“Then I guess we could use this chance to tell him about that too.” Kaneki yawned, letting his eyes fall shut.

“I agree.” Ken answered and felt him brush his bangs aside to kiss his forehead.

He smiled.

Yeah, it was definitely a good day.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Is this considered explicit already? Haha idk. As you can see, I'm such a sucker for both fluff and smut (fluff more than smut tho).
> 
> Aaand finally, the plot plot will come soon :-) heee *grins*
> 
> I hope you liked the chapter! And by the way, thank you so so much for almost 150 kudos omg. It's such a nice surprise, to know that people like this :') your comments are always so heart-warming too. I appreciate them a lot. Thank you ^^
> 
> Oh! and I started working on another fanfic, this time it's an Amoneki fic, any Amoneki shippers out there? Seriously, this is another ship that needs more love. 
> 
> Thank you for reading!


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